Hubby’s cousin posed this question on Facebook today:

Alright Ladies. I’m conducting a personal survey. What are the top 3 most important things you NEED from your significant other. list them in order of importance and don’t be shy. I am a Man in pursuit of passion. So let it out and teach us Ladies. Pleeeaassseee teach us.

Before I reveal the results of this personal survey, I have to mention that this is an evolved man. He has a strong faith. By all accounts he is a good husband and father.  He’s talented, intelligent and funny too. He also has balls for putting something like this out there where all his less evolved male friends can rip on him mercilessly. I have no idea why he’s taking this personal survey but I kept thinking about it off and on all day.

I answered immediately without looking at what others had already answered.  My three were:

#1 – TRUST

#2 – To feel special & important

#3 – Pull your own weight in every aspect of the relationship

I’ve written before about what I would look for in a man if I were ever “out there” again.  What I’ve never written about before is what I need from my significant other.  In fact, this made me realize that I had never really even thought about what I need from my significant other.

As I thought about this some more I of course over-analyzed my answers (it’s how I roll).  Did I give it enough thought?  Was there something more important that I hadn’t considered when I answered?  And why the hell did he limit us to only three anyway?!

In the end I decided that these are, in fact, my top three needs in a relationship.  Having said that, I have way more than three.  A few more are:

#4 – Sense of humor

#5 – Open Minded

#6 – Independence

I could probably go on and on for hours but I’ll spare you and stop at my top six.

Wait! Can I add him to my list?

The complete results of the FB poll today were:

• Trust
• To feel special & important
• Pull your own weight in every aspect of the relationship
• Fun
• “Lovin”
• Do the freakin’ dishes sometimes!  *but do them because, they need to be done! not because you want something!*
• Respect
• Some understanding/acceptance of the critical differences between men and women.
• Listen when we talk,and give us space when we need it
• Date nights
• Do something nice “just because”
• LAUGH and BE SILLY
• Security, to know that I know that I know you are committed
• Honest Communication, tell it like it is
• Affection
• Revisit why you guys fell in love in the first place
• Listen when she needs to vent
• Be a great Dad
• Making me feel like i am the only woman for him
• Active listening
• Non-sexual affection (we like to be kissed, touched, hugged, have our hand held etc. without it always leading to the bedroom
• Be a man of God
• To feel Loved, affection, non-sexual and sexual are WONDERFUL
• Believe in one another
• Communication
• Have similar goals / style as me
• Willing to accept and give support
• Being able to be yourself (flaws and all)
• Sexual chemistry…to put it bluntly…That HAS to be there
• To be taken care of – be strong (like it or not we want you to take a little control, provide the security $$ we need for our kids (and ourselves), and you know what else we want taken care of)

Quite a list, huh?  These men that we have partnered with have a lot to do to meet our needs!  How will they ever accomplish anything, or meet some of their own needs, if we need all of these things from them?

I wanted to add many to my own list (but again, I only got three!).  A few weren’t important to me at all.  I thought a very important one was missing…must be on Facebook!

I’d love to hear what you need from your partner so leave me some comments!

I’d especially love to hear from men.  What do you need from us?  Come on guys, don’t be shy….

Thanks for stopping by!

“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.”
— Ernest Hemingway

I’ve officially been blogging here for one month!  I’ve already blogged about how much I love writing, how much I’ve learned and how much I still have left to learn.  So, today, to celebrate my anniversary, I’m going to give out some blog love.  Here are some of my greatest finds in the blogging world:

IT’S A JAIME THING ~ my talented and creative friend who first suggested that I start a blog.  Without her, I would never have thought of it.  Her blog is an amazing collection of wedding inspiration, ideas and all things creative. 

Serendipity Hopeful ~ he was the first person to comment on one of my blogs and then used a portion of one of my blogs as inspiration for one of his posts.  Turns out, we have a lot in common.  Like me, he is interested in self-improvement and wisdom, and we want it NOW.

Child Care Fairy ~ she’s a licensed day care provider who, through her blog, also provides parents and other child care providers with advice on day care, parenting, finances, recipes and tons of helpful links, including child care providers in your area.  Her posts are informative and entertaining.

Mom Who Drinks And Cusses and Mama Needs 2 Rant ~ these two ladies’ blog titles are pretty self-explanatory.  They both post about the shenanigans in their families’ lives.  They don’t sugarcoat it and are REAL.  I love their honesty and they both crack me up!

Yay! Pigeons ~ she is a published author and just completed a novel in less than a month as part of a writing challenge called NaNoWriMo.  She says her blog is devoted to rain worship, art, writing, pigeons, and the wholehearted pursuit of joy.  She adds a little challenge to the end of each of her posts which I just love.

Sweet Escape – Inspiring Thoughts ~ love her daily bits of wisdom and also the daily trivia just for fun.

Living Life Inside Out ~ she says she’s found that other’s sharing of their pain, struggles and successes have helped her in her journey through life and hopes her sharing can help you.  It absolutely does Barb.  I will be first in line to buy the book.

Alpha Inventions ~ the way this site works is so far over my head that I think it may actually be magical.  Ok, of course I know it isn’t.  Basically, it’s a way to connect bloggers in real time.  So, as soon as you post, it appears for other bloggers who are also currently online to see.  That probably made no sense.  Anyway, it increases traffic to your blog and allows you to comment to other blogs while they are still online.

I hope you have come to enjoy my blog as much as I have come to enjoy writing it, and that you’ll check out these other blogs too, they’re worth it.

Thanks for stopping by!

I just found this and LOVE it, that’s all!
Thanks for stopping by!

Imagine a Woman
by Patricia Lynn Reilly

Imagine a woman who believes it is right and good she is a woman.
A woman who honors her experience and tells her stories.
Who refuses to carry the sins of others within her body and life.

Imagine a woman who trusts and respects herself.
A woman who listens to her needs and desires.
Who meets them with tenderness and grace.

Imagine a woman who acknowledges the past’s influence on the present.
A woman who has walked through her past.
Who has healed into the present.

Imagine a woman who authors her own life.
A woman who exerts, initiates, and moves on her own behalf.
Who refuses to surrender except to her truest self and wisest voice.

Imagine a woman who names her own gods.
A woman who imagines the divine in her image and likeness.
Who designs a personal spirituality to inform her daily life.

Imagine a woman in love with her own body.
A woman who believes her body is enough, just as it is.
Who celebrates its rhythms and cycles as an exquisite resource.

Imagine a woman who honors the body of the Goddess in her changing body.
A woman who celebrates the accumulation of her years and her wisdom.
Who refuses to use her life-energy disguising the changes in her body and life.

Imagine a woman who values the women in her life.
A woman who sits in circles of women.
Who is reminded of the truth about herself when she forgets.

Imagine yourself as this woman.

“Imagine a Woman” © Patricia Lynn Reilly, 1995
Excerpt: Imagine a Woman in Love with Herself (Conari, 1999)
Available in English: Postcard and poster formats.
Available in Spanish: Postcard format.
“Mannequin” © Patricia Lynn Reilly, 2006

http://www.OpenWindowGallery.com

I just LOVE this….

30 things every woman should have and should know by the time she’s 30
This 1997 Glamour article has become a popular web chain letter, usually titled “Maya Angelou’s Best Poem Ever.” Glamour contributor Pamela Redmond Satran is flattered, but she wrote the list, updating it in 2005.
- February 1, 2007 Pamela Redmond Satran

By 30, you should have:

One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come.

A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.

Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.

A purse, a suitcase and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying.

A youth you’re content to move beyond.

A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age.

The realization that you are actually going to have an old age—and some money set aside to help fund it.

An e-mail address, a voice mailbox and a bank account—all of which nobody has access to but you.

A résumé that is not even the slightest bit padded.

One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.

A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill and a black lace bra.

Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it.

The belief that you deserve it.

A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30.

A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship and all those other facets of life that do get better.

By 30, you should know:

How to fall in love without losing yourself.

How you feel about having kids.

How to quit a job, break up with a man and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.
When to try harder and when to walk away.

How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next.

The names of: the secretary of state, your great-grandmother and the best tailor in town.

How to live alone, even if you don’t like to.

How to take control of your own birthday.

That you can’t change the length of your calves, the width of your hips or the nature of your parents.

That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over.

What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love.

That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs or not flossing for very long.

Who you can trust, who you can’t and why you shouldn’t take it personally.

Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault.

Why they say life begins at 30.

Thanks for stopping by!




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]]> http://somuchmorethanamom.com/2008/11/17/30-things-every-woman-should-have-and-should-know-by-the-time-she%e2%80%99s-30/feed/ 1 http://somuchmorethanamom.com/2008/11/11/the-nice-girl-syndrome/ http://somuchmorethanamom.com/2008/11/11/the-nice-girl-syndrome/#comments Tue, 11 Nov 2008 16:16:22 +0000 Cyndi http://somuchmorethanamom.wordpress.com/?p=170

…I’m a neat freak.
Really, no I’m not. I just said that to make my hubby and sister laugh. I am domestically AND organizationally challenged.
SERIOUSLY.
Sure, I can and do clean and straighten up, especially when people are coming over. But for the most part…I’m a slob. My house always seems to develop clutter and….crap all over the place. I don’t know where it comes from but I blame the three males I cohabitate with.
In any case, my sister referred me to this really cool website. Oh sure, she claims that she didn’t know what it was about at the time, but let’s be honest; she secretly wants to have an intervention for me on this subject.
So, I’m sharing it with you, just in case you are half the slacker that I am around the house. And even if you aren’t, she has some really great ideas about all things domestic, including pampering yourself, and even stuff for the kids.
Thanks for stopping by!


FlyLady.Net




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]]> http://somuchmorethanamom.com/2008/11/06/i-have-a-confession-to-make/feed/ 4 http://somuchmorethanamom.com/2008/11/02/hello-world-2/ http://somuchmorethanamom.com/2008/11/02/hello-world-2/#comments Sun, 02 Nov 2008 20:08:32 +0000 Cyndi http://somuchmorethanamom.com/?p=1662
“You boys can keep your virgins. Give me hot old women in high heels with asses that forgot to get old. ”
— Charles Bukowski (Love Is a Dog from Hell: Poems, 1974-1977)
My very creative friend Jaime over at http://justjaime28.wordpress.com/ suggested that I start a blog several weeks ago.  I’ve been thinking about it ever since.  What would I talk about?  Who would read?  The list goes on.  It finally came to me yesterday….write about being a mom!

Sound boring?  Well, I don’t exactly want to write about my daily routine of getting my two school-age sons up, ready for school, get them to school, pick them up, get them to football practice, dinner, homework, etc….YAWN!

What I want to write about is all the other stuff.  Before we were moms we were daughters, friends, lovers, students, employees, bosses, wives, etc.  We had many roles that defined us.  Some of those roles were chosen and enjoyable.  Some of them were handed to us by nature and either enjoyable or not.  We had interests and hobbies that did not revolve around the next soccer game or who the next PTA treasurer was going to be.  How many of us gave all of that up when we became moms?  How many of us lost OURSELVES when we took on the awesome title of MOM?  And why did we do that?

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE LOVE LOVE being a mom!  When my oldest son was born, I actually had the thought, “so THIS is what I was meant to do…”.  I adore my sons and would do anything for them.  They are amazing people and helping to guide them through this crazy life has been, and will always be, a role I treasure and wouldn’t change for anything in the world.  I love them both with all my heart.  My family is my number one priority in life.

Having said that, aren’t I part of my family?  Don’t I deserve at least some of my time and attention?  Won’t taking care of myself ultimately make me a better mom anyway? 

You may be wondering about the quote I chose to top this first blog entry.  What does that have to do with being a mom??  NOTHING!  It’s one of my favorite quotes for many reasons.  One of them is that I am DEFINITLEY not a virgin so I appreciate this author’s appreciation for old broads (I’m 38) with nice asses (I’m not ashamed to say I’m still proud of mine ~ I worked hard for it, damnit!).  Another reason is that it gives you an idea of my personality and therefore, what you can expect to hear from me.  I am optimistic but have a dark side.  I am sarcastic…A LOT.  I am intellectual but also have the sense of humor of a 14 year old boy.  I must warn you….I curse like a truck driver sometimes too.  I’m creative and analytical.  I am many things, as are we all.  We are ALL…SO MUCH MORE THAN A MOM!

Thanks for stopping by, feel free to send me a comment or e-mail, and please bear with me while I learn about this whole blogging thing. 




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