So Much More Than A Mom » spa

Later!

Cyndi — Fri, 15 May 2009 04:59:50 +0000

“We aren’t here for a long time. We’re here for a good time.” - I don’t know, hubby heard it on the radio

So, I have smoked my last one of these….

And will be hanging out here…..

And DEFINITELY having a few of these…

Before I have to go back to this on Monday….

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Date Night

Cyndi — Sat, 15 Nov 2008 20:48:26 +0000

“Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they’re on the same side. “ — Zig Ziglar

I went on a date last night…with my hubby. We don’t go on dates very often. Don’t get me wrong, we are very social and do go out quite a bit. We just usually go out with other couples or one of us will go out with friends while the other stays home with the kids. Our marriage counselor stressed the importance of going on dates, just the two of us, a lot. In fact, he said it needed to occur weekly. We’ve had a difficult time keeping a regular weekly dating schedule but have done our best. The important thing is not what we choose to do, just that we get out of the house and spend some time doing something enjoyable alone. Sometimes, our weekly date is just lunch. This week, it was to be dinner and a movie. That isn’t exactly how it turned out….

We’ve been getting along really well lately and I was very excited about our date. I was looking forward to us having fun, alone, and also to putting on make-up, heels, and jewelry. It started off with dinner at Gordon Biersch (incidentally, I highly recommend the meatloaf with garlic fries…yummy). Things were going very well, dinner was excellent, the beer was good, we did a shot, and we were talking…a lot…and not about problems or kids or counseling….just hanging out and talking. We were having fun together…alone…just like the doctor ordered!

I have to mention at this point that like many men, my hubby is a card-carrying-very-open-about-it, perv. We are also very open with each other in discussing sex, fantasies, etc. Neither of us was particularly excited about seeing the movie we had chosen. We just picked one that sounded interesting for lack of any better ideas of what to do after dinner. So…when hubby mentioned that he remembered having seen a billboard somewhere advertising a spa that offered couples’ massages, and was open until midnight (?!)…I was open to the idea. It sounded naughty so I figured, “what the hell, let’s check it out”. In the sober light of day, I realize that nothing good can come from a spa open until midnight, but last night, we both suspended our disbelief and held out hope that we were possibly embarking on a sexy and fun adventure.

We drove about a half an hour further and further into rural communities when we spotted the billboard. Sure enough, it did advertise being open until midnight, but no mention of couples’ massages. We figured we’d just inquire about that when we got there. We finally found the place, in a small (hillbilly) town, in a badly-lit strip mall next to a “Cash Store”. Shady. There were no cars in the parking lot and as we got closer we saw a sign on the door instructing customers NOT to park in front, but to park in the back. VERY shady. When we got around to the back door of the “spa”, complete with a dumpster right next to it, we were fairly certain that to enter this establishment would most likely result in some sort of STD, or worse. But, we were on an adventure so hubby said he’d go in and check it out. The door was locked, he had to ring a doorbell. EXTREMELY shady. After checking him out through the security camera, the owner must have determined that he wasn’t a serial killer or with the vice squad because she opened the door. She said that they did not offer couples massages, there was only one “masseuse” on duty, and there was a two hour wait! Yikes. Needless to say, our naughty adventure did not result in a “happy ending” and we got the hell out of deliverance-ville.

Once safely back to civilization, we decided on a sports bar. It was fun. They had a decent oldies band that wasn’t so loud you couldn’t hear yourselves speak. They were showing a 1985 Bears vs. Packers game. More beer and shots and talking…and it was time to go home. We had a blast, and yes, a happy ending!

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Naughty Girl

Cyndi — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 03:25:11 +0000

“Well behaved Women rarely make History” — Eleanor Roosevelt

First, if you already consider yourself to be a “naughty girl”, this post isn’t for you. This post is for women like me; people-pleasing, co-dependent, avoid confrontation at all costs, follow the rules, always do the “right” thing, etc. If any of these descriptions fit you, read on.

Second, I have to pause here for a legal disclaimer from the U.S. Constitution, Amendment V…

No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a grand jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the militia, when in actual service in time of war or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.

In other words…I plead the 5th.

I will give a very vague description of some events that transpired one weekend in January. I am not required to provide any additional details, as explained in the legal disclaimer above.

Here’s the story…Hubby and I had very recently separated and things between us were at their very worst. I was extremely unhappy and very, very angry. A girlfriend called with an invitation to go on a short road trip with her to visit her sister for the weekend. I jumped at the chance, simply to escape the nightmare my life had become.

To say that my escape was successful would be a serious understatement. I was a very, very naughty girl. I behaved in ways not befitting a “good girl” or even a “law abiding citizen”. I did have a GREAT time though! It was just what I needed at that specific time. Thankfully, nothing I did caused any actual lasting damage or resulted in any negative consequences (except the feeling that I had been run over by a truck by the end of the weekend). I needed a vacation from my vacation.

My point is, I was sick and tired of always doing what others’ thought was the right thing, or what I thought others’ thought was the right thing. I was tired of always being a “good girl”.

I don’t recommend doing anything that would require you to plead the 5th or result in any negative consequences for yourself or others. That isn’t where I’m going with this. Where I am going is that if you feel trapped in a lifestyle or relationship or even in just your own rigid thoughts about what is “right” and “wrong”, it is VERY liberating to step out of your comfort zone and do something that you consider to be “naughty”.

If that means telling hubby you’re going out with the girls one night (and he normally doesn’t like for you to go anywhere without him), DO IT. If that means shaking things up in the bedroom with your significant other, DO IT. If it means taking a day to yourself for some pampering at a spa, DO IT. Whatever you can think of that will make you feel just a little bit “bad”, DO IT!

You only live once and life is too short to never be…..

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