The other side of 40. It looks much like 39 but without the burden that comes with the dread of turning 40. It’s just another day. It’s just a number.

The bonus of having such a milestone birthday fall on a Thursday is that we get to celebrate twice. No one wants to go out late on a weeknight. Well, at least no one my age. Last night the family and a few friends came over for a late dinner and cake. Tonight we’re going out with some friends to get our dinner and drink on.

Hubby has become incredibly intuitive as far as gift giving is concerned. I made no lists, requests or urgent pleas for anything in particular. Well, I did say that what I really, really, really wanted was tickets to the John Mayer concert in April but he said we can still do that and it doesn’t have to be my birthday present. How sweet is that?! In addition to the beautiful flowers and balloons that were waiting for me when I woke up, it’s clear from his gifts that he knew exactly what I need right now. To be pampered and feel pretty:

I can’t wait to get my massage on! It may be today. And I smell damn good if I do say so myself. Since we’re going out tonight I will get the rare opportunity to actually put on all my fab new make-up, wear clothes other than sweats and jammies and maybe even remind hubby that when made up I’m not too bad looking….for a 40 year old.

My sister and I never have any trouble finding the perfect gifts for each other despite our very different tastes. Well, there was that one time when she was in high school and I bought her the most adorable pink plaid sweater that she hated (she clearly had no taste…it was so cute!) but we steer clear of clothes these days. Being the tree-hugging-granola-crunching-cause-supporting person that she is, I was amazed by how she was able to pick out the perfect gifts for me while still supporting her causes.

With my upcoming trip to North Carolina in mind, she got me this awesome tote in sea green to put my books in when I hit the beach:

Along with the matching clutch, complete with a dollar bill in it for good fortune:

And this beautiful tea rose bookmark:

She also picked up some heavenly lavender/eucalyptus scented candles:

And the pièce de résistance:

That’s right bitches….Bitch Bubbly sparkling wine!! How fun and perfect is that?!

40? So far so good.

Thanks for stopping by!

Gina‘s wake was on Monday evening. I had to work all day and as the day progressed I moved closer and closer towards panic. As is true of everything I can immediately think of, the reality was not nearly as horrific as I imagined. Yet another reason worry and anxiety are destructive wastes of time.

As soon as we walked in one of Gina’s 14 year old twins walked right up to me to say hi. As I hugged her I told her I was so sorry (what else do you say?). She said, “It’s ok.”. This beautiful child who had just lost her mother was telling me it was ok. I’m still speechless.

That encounter got me started. I cried. And cried. And cried. I cried looking at all of the beautiful pictures of my friend.

I cried looking at the closed casket. I cried looking at her daughters, her mother, her sister and brother, her husband and her grandmother. I cried over each and every word that was spoken about her.

I laughed. I laughed when I told hubby he had to dunk the biscotti in his coffee but he tried to break off a piece instead and Gina’s grandmother told him he had to dunk it. I laughed even more when I told her that’s what I said and an aunt chimed in with, “they never listen.”. I’m fairly certain that everyone laughed when Gina’s precocious and apparently attention-loving 3 year old daughter chose the middle of the Priest’s eulogy to proclaim as loudly as possible, “Ready! Set! Go!” and then proceed to run straight across the front of the room at full speed. Repeatedly. Probably about 10 times. I laughed when her sister and I agreed that Gina told her daughter to do that because things were getting way too serious in there.

I received a completely unexpected gift from the most unexpected source. I have secretly been wondering if Gina truly knew how much she meant to me. How much I loved her. See, as close as we were, we weren’t overly vocal about our feelings or particularly affectionate. We hugged hello and goodbye and frequently said, “I love you man.”. But I had this nagging doubt. I was afraid I had failed to convey how important to me she was. As open as I am in writing, I am much less comfortable vocalizing my feelings.

My gift? Her other 14 year old twin daughter introduced me to someone as her mom’s best friend. I couldn’t breathe for a second. Then I asked hubby if I had heard her correctly. He said yes. Now, I am a 39 year old woman, well past the point in life where I need anyone to assure me that I am their one and only BFF. However, hearing her daughter say that I was her mom’s best friend absolutely meant the world to me. I know she had many other close friends. But I also now know that Gina did know how important she was to me and how much I loved her. Thanks to her daughter.

I can’t begin to imagine how her family is feeling or how they will deal with their tremendous loss. I do know that they helped me a great deal last night. I only hope I can somehow return the favor.

Thanks for stopping by!