I’m feeling pretty lucky lately.  My friend and I won this fabulous trip.  WON.  How bizarre is that?!  I admittedly don’t play the lottery regularly or enter many contests.  But still….to win something like this feels so great.  I did win $400 on a radio call-in contest when I was 9 years old.  At that age, $400 seemed like a lot of money.  My parents made me put it into a savings account, which I promptly spent on booze 10 years 12 years later.  That was the last time I can remember winning anything.  This trip is worth a lot more to me than the actual dollar value.

First of all, I’m a spa-whore.  I love facials, massages and pedicures.  When I was working I spent a significant amount of time and money on spa treatments.  As part of this trip we get THREE different spa treatments….heavenly.

Secondly, I love to travel.  I do realize that Pennsylvania isn’t exactly an exotic destination and that there is not a chance in hell that I’ll get to the ocean (my favorite place on earth).  However, it is one state that I’ve never visited, although I did drive through it when I was 10 years old, during a nightmarish 18-hour road trip with my family when we moved to Illinois from New York.  I remember that it seemed like the longest state ever.  I actually may have visited Gettysburg during a field trip I took in the 8th grade to Washington DC but I’m not sure. 

Most importantly….my traveling companion.  I’m so excited to have this opportunity to hang out with my friend for 3 days.  No kids.  No husbands.  No chemo.  No worries.  Just us.  And chocolate.  We’ve been roommates once before and got along just fine.  We also seem to have the same thoughts about how we want to spend our time this weekend…..relaxing.  She just e-mailed me with this subject line, “t minus 24 hrs 31 min…”.  Yep, we’re on the same page. 

We may have one worry.  In reality, SHE may have one worry….my mood.  I am quitting smoking tomorrow.  Today I will smoke like a freakin’ chimney (in fact I need to run out to buy more) but tomorrow, I’m done.  I’ve already warned her and told her to just smack me if I get cranky.  I have no doubt that she will follow through with this, she is Italian.  How can I really stay cranky at the epicenter of chocolaty goodness anyway?!

And finally, I haven’t written about this before because it wasn’t a sure thing until today.  I have actually landed a job and will be starting on Monday!  It’s a contract underwriting position, which means it is temporary and could end at any time (although they do anticipate it to be long-term), but isn’t that the case with any job these days, particularly in the mortgage industry?  It seems like a good fit for me, including the option to work from home a few days a week.  I’m trying not to get too excited (or anxious) about it, but that is how I roll.

This will end my year of slacking off here at home.  In fact, it’s less than two weeks short of a full year of unemployment.  It has been a stressful year, constantly worrying about finding a suitable job and paying the bills, feeling guilty for not contributing much financially when every fiber of my being is wired to achieve and earn.  It’s also been a year of self-discovery and enjoying being here more for my kids.  It led me to start this blog and discover my love of writing too.

All of these things happening at once has my head spinning.  I had planned on getting a lot of things done this week that I wasn’t able to do because I was sick.  So, as is customary for me, at the very last minute, I have to do all of the things in one day that I wanted to do over the course of the past four days.  ARRRGGGHHH!!!!  No, I’m not my own worst enemy at all. 

Ok, time to stop procrastinating and get to it.  I have a very busy day ahead of me.

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I miss my girlfriends.  This thought has been rumbling around in the back of my head for quite some time.  I keep pushing it away.  They’ve been busy.  I’ve been….well, I’ve been insane, introspective, unemployed, self-involved, anxious and not all that friendly. 

This thought from the back of my head was forced directly into my consciousness today due to two separate events.  One of my friends is actually out of town for a girl’s weekend right now and I read a blog written by a woman who is also out of town for a girl’s weekend right now.  I’m jealous.

The last time I went on a trip with the girls was the now infamous weekend trip I took last January.  Prior to that was a trip a few of us took the previous November.  That weekend was great.  I was in desperate need of an escape as I was just beginning to realize my marriage and my life were in serious disarray.  We had a blast.  We engaged in all sorts of immature, debaucherous and otherwise unbecoming behavior for a group of 30-something-ish Moms.  Two of them us argued over who would get a 19-ish hot waiter to do horrible things to us right there in the restaurant at lunch.  We stayed up into the wee hours of the morning drinking and laughing like teenagers.  We went gambling.  We got lost, ripped on each other mercilessly and there were even false allegations of bi-curious activity.  Good times.

Even that trip was missing something though.  It was missing one of our friends.  She’s actually the reason that we all know each other in the first place.  She wasn’t there because she had the audacity to get pregnant and was due any day.  Even though we had fun, she was sorely missed.  There had been some discussion of taking a trip in the summer of that year but that had been canceled, also due to said inconvenient-for-and-unapproved-by-me pregnancy.

Then another one of these inconsiderate biatches BFFs got pregnant, thus insuring that we would not be taking our annual trip this past November.  I don’t know where they get off, still having babies when I was done years ago, against my wishes.  Despite my complete lack of understanding and utter selfishness, they did it anyway. 

Preggo #1, Preggo #2 & Me (on the right)

Due to my almost complete nervous breakdown, these two pregnancies and their results (two beautiful and healthy babies – 1 boy, 1 girl), we don’t even see each other as often as we used to, let alone take trips together.  I really miss spending time with them.  We used to get together every couple of weeks.  They all live in close proximity to each other so they do get together a little more often than I do.  They also haven’t been as unfriendly as I have. 

I miss them.  I’m going to make it a priority to see them more often.  They make me laugh, laugh at me, accept me unconditionally (provided that I put up with their ripping on me) and allow me to be myself, craziness and all.  They also put up with me ripping on them, which I do as often as possible, of course.  What are BFFs for?

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