Hi. My name is Cyndi and I have a problem. Facebook. To be honest I also have problems with twitter, e-mail, texting, google reader and multiple other online distractions, not to mention multiple offline addictions. Don’t judge.

I’ve seen the following canned (Who writes these things anyway?  Is there some sweatshop somewhere?) Facebook status update a few times over the past several weeks:

WELCOME TO THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA! Press 1 for English. Press 2 to disconnect until you learn to speak English. And remember— only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, JESUS CHRIST and the AMERICAN SOLIDER. One died for your soul, the other for your freedom. If you agree… copy and paste in your status

 This one doesn’t make any sense to me. I don’t understand what the first *ahem* sentiment has to do with the second. So, I was pleasantly surprised yesterday when someone I know well posted this as her status. She has been my go-to person for all questions related to Christianity for years. I felt comfortable that asking her about it would not offend her as she is aware that I am a heathen and therefore prone to asking the tough questions, which I did:

I don’t understand this…would Jesus disconnect anyone who doesn’t speak English?

 I admittedly do not know everything there is to know much at all about Christianity or organized religion in general. I am pretty sure I’ve got the basics of Christianity down. I know for certain that one of the more common Christian ideologies is, “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.” [Matthew 7:12]. (You’re impressed that I knew the book and verse aren’t you? I love The Internets.) The good old golden rule.

Is it really that offensive to be offered the option of pressing “2″?  And if so, why? If I were in a foreign country and I had to contact some wretched call center for any reason I would be delighted to have the option (even if it was #7 or #212) to reach someone who speaks English. Do unto others, right? Isn’t the truly offensive action in this scenario the fact that you have to contact a call center at all? I’m fairly certain that the concept of the call center originated in hell and that Jesus does not like them anymore than we do. We all know as soon as we dial the number that we will be placed into that dreaded loop of options, excessive hold times and finally will be transferred to someone in another country who will tell us in English that whatever we are asking for is not going to happen and we are just screwed, thankyouverymuch.

My personal favorite canned Facebook update makes much more sense to me. In fact I think whoever came up with it should win some sort of online Facebook-status-writing award or something. It’s as if whoever penned this sentiment somehow knows me and was able to express, much better than I ever could, what I truly feel in my heart and soul:

Please put this on your status if you know someone (or are related to someone) who is an idiot. Idiots affect the lives of everyone. There is still no known cure for stupidity, but we can raise awareness …… 93% wont Copy and Paste this, many because they’re too stupid to know how to copy and paste. Will YOU make this your status for at least one hour?

Thanks for stopping by!

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November 2, 2008 was the date I sat down, wrote this post and hit the oft-dreaded publish button for the first time, claiming my own little spot here on the interwebs. I didn’t have much of a clue about why I was doing it or where I was going with it. I now have a pretty firm grasp on why I do it but still not the slightest idea of where it’s going.

I have learned quite a bit over the past year through blogging.

I’ve learned that pretty much no matter what I write about there is at least one person, and usually many more than just one, who reads it and comments or e-mails me to say they’ve been in the same situation or feel the exact same way. I’ve learned that I’m not alone.

I’ve learned that it is possible to develop relationships with people who follow my blog and whose blogs I follow. We have gotten to know each other. Admittedly, we never really know exactly how well we know each other since our primary interactions are through what each of us chooses to expose on our blogs and in our comments. Much can be hidden. The same can be said for people we know in life though. Some of the friends I’ve met through blogging have become facebook friends too, some I communicate with regularly via e-mail, one I have met in person. Some turned out not to be friends at all and/or not who they want people to believe they are. Some lost interest in my blog or I lost interest in theirs. Some stopped blogging and have disappeared. They have all touched me in some way and all taught me something about life or about myself.

I’ve learned a ton about social media. When I started out I had a MySpace account and one e-mail address. Today, I’m on virtually every social networking site there is. I can’t even remember all that I’ve signed up for. MySpace has been completely abandoned. Facebook is private and used primarily for people who I actually know, except my public Facebook Page for this blog. I have an endless number of e-mail addresses. I even know a little about search engine optimization, especially that anyone claiming to be a SEO guru, is in fact, NOT.

I’ve learned that there are multiple cliques within the blogging community. There is always some controversy or other brewing. These always seem to bring out the worst in people, the catty in-fighting hurts us all. This is especially true amongst “mommy-bloggers” which is, unfortunately, the category under which my blog most likely falls. I try to ignore the nonsense. It usually blows over pretty quickly and isn’t nearly as important as anyone involved thought it was.

I’ve learned that blogging is extremely time consuming and much easier to keep up with when not employed than when working full time. I’ve learned that doesn’t bother me and that I somehow find the time because I love it so much.

My most popular blog post by far is Narcissistic Mothers. My least popular post is Are Credit Scores Obsolete. I guess there a lot more people trying to understand their parents and narcissists than there are interested in credit scores or the mortgage industry. Or maybe there are just a lot more professional bloggers out there talking about credit scores and the mortgage industry so my little post didn’t cover any new ground.

That about sums up what I’ve learned this year and I hope to learn even more over the next year. Thank you to everyone who’s reading!

As always, thanks for stopping by!

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Hubby’s cousin posed this question on Facebook today:

Alright Ladies. I’m conducting a personal survey. What are the top 3 most important things you NEED from your significant other. list them in order of importance and don’t be shy. I am a Man in pursuit of passion. So let it out and teach us Ladies. Pleeeaassseee teach us.

Before I reveal the results of this personal survey, I have to mention that this is an evolved man. He has a strong faith. By all accounts he is a good husband and father.  He’s talented, intelligent and funny too. He also has balls for putting something like this out there where all his less evolved male friends can rip on him mercilessly. I have no idea why he’s taking this personal survey but I kept thinking about it off and on all day.

I answered immediately without looking at what others had already answered.  My three were:

#1 – TRUST

#2 – To feel special & important

#3 – Pull your own weight in every aspect of the relationship

I’ve written before about what I would look for in a man if I were ever “out there” again.  What I’ve never written about before is what I need from my significant other.  In fact, this made me realize that I had never really even thought about what I need from my significant other.

As I thought about this some more I of course over-analyzed my answers (it’s how I roll).  Did I give it enough thought?  Was there something more important that I hadn’t considered when I answered?  And why the hell did he limit us to only three anyway?!

In the end I decided that these are, in fact, my top three needs in a relationship.  Having said that, I have way more than three.  A few more are:

#4 – Sense of humor

#5 – Open Minded

#6 – Independence

I could probably go on and on for hours but I’ll spare you and stop at my top six.

Wait! Can I add him to my list?

The complete results of the FB poll today were:

• Trust
• To feel special & important
• Pull your own weight in every aspect of the relationship
• Fun
• “Lovin”
• Do the freakin’ dishes sometimes!  *but do them because, they need to be done! not because you want something!*
• Respect
• Some understanding/acceptance of the critical differences between men and women.
• Listen when we talk,and give us space when we need it
• Date nights
• Do something nice “just because”
• LAUGH and BE SILLY
• Security, to know that I know that I know you are committed
• Honest Communication, tell it like it is
• Affection
• Revisit why you guys fell in love in the first place
• Listen when she needs to vent
• Be a great Dad
• Making me feel like i am the only woman for him
• Active listening
• Non-sexual affection (we like to be kissed, touched, hugged, have our hand held etc. without it always leading to the bedroom
• Be a man of God
• To feel Loved, affection, non-sexual and sexual are WONDERFUL
• Believe in one another
• Communication
• Have similar goals / style as me
• Willing to accept and give support
• Being able to be yourself (flaws and all)
• Sexual chemistry…to put it bluntly…That HAS to be there
• To be taken care of – be strong (like it or not we want you to take a little control, provide the security $$ we need for our kids (and ourselves), and you know what else we want taken care of)

Quite a list, huh?  These men that we have partnered with have a lot to do to meet our needs!  How will they ever accomplish anything, or meet some of their own needs, if we need all of these things from them?

I wanted to add many to my own list (but again, I only got three!).  A few weren’t important to me at all.  I thought a very important one was missing…must be on Facebook!

I’d love to hear what you need from your partner so leave me some comments!

I’d especially love to hear from men.  What do you need from us?  Come on guys, don’t be shy….

Thanks for stopping by!

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I am a social media addict.  This is of course, in addition to my many other addictions.  I have an addictive personality, it’s how I roll.  Maybe I should start attending random group therapy sessions, like in Fight Club.  Yes, movies are another addiction of mine, and books too, but I digress.  Back to my original addiction….social media.  These days I particularly love blogging (duh) and Facebook but am pretty hooked on twitter too.  It all started with MySpace, which I now consider to be a playground for pervs and children…not a good combo.  I do maintain my account on MySpace just to keep tabs on my nieces and nephews but I rarely use it. 

The reason I’m even writing about any of this is that my fellow social media addict, blogger, mortgage industry professional, weight loss nazi inspiration and online buddy (soul mate?), Tammy, over at A Moment In Time, wrote a blog post about social media that I have been pondering all day.

Basically, she met up, in person, with an old friend from school who she originally connected with on Facebook.  They had a great time and it was as if no time had passed at all.  Later that same day, she saw someone else from her past in a store and ducked out without any interest in connecting with that person at all.  It didn’t seem as if there had been any animosity, just no desire to reconnect.

Pondering this all day, as I tend to do, has led me down two different paths.  The first one is about a friend from high school that I connected with on Facebook when I first joined.  I was thrilled to find out that you could fairly easily connect with folks from high school.  We hadn’t spoken in about twenty years.  We had some ridiculous fight about a year after high school and she basically told me to go to hell.  At the time I was confused and extremely hurt.  It was a petty argument and I thought we were BFFs.  Twenty years later, I was over it and figured she was too.  We did connect briefly on Facebook but she seemed reluctant to really chat and then one day she was gone.  I was dumped again.  This time I’m not confused or hurt.  Her dumping me from her Facebook friends may have nothing to do with me at all.  If she would rather not reconnect, that’s ok.  Sometimes there are people who are better left in the past.

I have a difficult time cutting people off, even when I know I should.  Even when I know they are bad for me.  Even when I really look at the relationship and realize I’m not getting one good thing out of it.  Even when they just aren’t good friends for some reason.  Even when I know they are narcissists, and incapable of real emotion or healthy relationships.  I’ve gotten better at this in recent years but it’s still tough for me to stop all contact.  I think I always hold out hope, despite all evidence to the contrary, that they must care about me or they would just stop all contact with me and move on.  I am always waiting for that one moment when they’ll toss me a crumb of emotion, something that indicates I am important to them and that they do care.  It’s like this carrot that is always there but also always out of reach.  It’s another addiction.

That led me to my second path.  Why do we (most of us anyway) have such a difficult time expressing positive, loving emotions to our friends, family members and acquaintances, even when we feel them.  Assuming we aren’t narcissists and neither are they, just normal flawed humans, why do we hide how we feel?  Why is it so difficult to put ourselves out there and just say, “You’re a good friend.”, “I enjoy spending time with you because…”, “I miss you.” or even “I love you.”. 

I have no trouble expressing emotions with my kids and husband.   But pretty much anyone else, I rarely feel comfortable saying anything close to resembling real feelings.  I’ve gotten better at it, especially in writing, but still struggle with it, particularly in person or even on the phone. 

I suspect that it’s the fear that they will not feel the same way or that even if they do, they will be uncomfortable with me being so honest.  Or, what if they interpret my feelings to mean more than what they are?  If, for example, I were to tell a long-time co-worker that I admire her for some reason, might she then think that I feel our friendship is much closer than she does?  Is it simply a fear of intimacy of any kind?  Fear of rejection?

Isn’t this all ridiculous?  I mean, we all need relationships with our fellow human beings.  We all like to know that we are important, liked, admired, cared for and loved.  Life is so short and the only truly important things in it are our connections with others.  Maybe this is all just psycho-babble brought on by nicotine withdrawal.  Or maybe not. 

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Despite my clearly baseless claims of increased maturity in my previous post written a mere few hours ago, all signs actually point to the probability that I have, in fact, regressed to approximately age 17. 

I had a doctor’s appointment today at 11am and I have another appointment tomorrow, with a different doctor, at 1pm.  Earlier this morning I was aware of, and even mentioned to my sister on the phone, the fact that today’s appointment was at 11am.  At some point between the time I spoke to my sister and 11am, my dumb-ass somehow came to believe that today’s appointment was at 1pm and tomorrow’s was at 11am.  Consequently, I was twenty minutes late and had to reschedule for tomorrow. 

The weather here is gorgeous today, after the past several days being cold, rainy and/or gloomy.  It’s sunny and almost seventy degrees.  I left the doctor’s office somewhat embarrassed by my bonehead move but promptly forgot all about it as I rolled the windows down and cranked up my iPod to concert-worthy decible levels.

I proceeded to drive around aimlessly listening to, and of course singing along with, songs such as these:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KE2orthS3TQ]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFOV78Pi358]

And of course this:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQml5qdbPM0]

I absolutely love doing this.  I have perfected the infantile practice of believing that if I don’t make eye contact with my fellow drivers then they can’t actually see me rockin’ out like a fool in my car, right next to them, with the windows rolled down and music blasting.  Uh huh.  I believe it.

Of course, I finally came home, juvenile behavior out of my system, and pursued some sort of activity suitable for an actual adult, right?  ‘Fraid not.  I responded to this question posed on twitter;  ”Sending a care package to a 1st year college student. What is one item you wished you received that year?” with;  “a fake I.D. ”.  I then proceeded to re-join an already in progress heated debate on facebook about American Idol. 

I’m going to chalk all of these shenanigans up to Spring Fever and hope some level of maturity and sense of responsibility return soon. 

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“I should say here, because some in Washington like to dream up ways to control the Internet, that we don’t need to ‘control’ free speech, we need to control ourselves.” — Peggy Noonan

Hubby went out with the boys yesterday and came home with my our brand new laptop!  It felt like Christmas, my birthday and July 4th all in one day.  See, we still don’t have our computer back.  Last week, a friend of mine referred to Best Buy as The Evil Empire.  I like it.  I’m going to use it.  Actually, I just did use it, but I’m going to use it again.  But enough about that, for now.

I’m not sure why hubby decided to bestow this wonderful new gift on me our family, and frankly, I don’t care.  I was going nuts without a computer.  I was seriously jonesing.  I’m talking about pawning-my-great-grandmother’s-heirloom-jewelry-for-a-few-hours-on-the-internet- jonesing.  I was using several times a day, at the library and my sister’s house, but it isn’t the same.  It’s much better to have full access to your own computer 24/7 than to have to settle for an hour here or there.  I can’t believe what a junkie/geek I have become!  In my defense, I am looking for a job so the internet is an absolute necessity for job searching (while also sending bumper stickers and playing mob wars on Facebook – isn’t that what tabs are for – multi-tasking??!!). 

Now that I think about it, I suspect that my sister probably had something to do with this.  I’m sure she was sick of me tying up her computer for hours on end (she’s almost as big a geek as I am).  I don’t really care.  I’m just happy to have my our new laptop!  But I do wonder what she threatened him with…

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“I have always imagined that Paradise will be some kind of library.” — Jorge Luis Borges

That’s right, I’m talking about one of my favorite topics again…books.  I’m also talking about another of my favorite topics again…Facebook.  What do these two have in common?  Well, my blogging buddy over at

Recipe For Chaos

Recipe For Chaos started her own little slice of Paradise by creating a book discussion group on Facebook!

Biblio Crush

 It’s called Biblio Crush.  If you enjoy discussing books from any author, genre or era, join us!

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OMG, I’m ROFLMAO…he’s so right.  Totally. 

I have texted people sitting right next to me.  Hubby and I have had entire text conversations while at parties together.  I don’t know how I survived without the GPS feature on my new cell phone.  Starbucks is….well, heaven on earth.  Wait, that’s not exactly right…Borders is heaven on earth.  Starbucks does run a very close second though.  And Facebook….let’s text talk about Facebook…

I love Facebook.  As most of you reading this are probably at least pretty close to being borderline obsessed with the internet and technology (I mean, you are reading a blog, right?), I’m going to assume that you know that Facebook is a social networking site and leave the explanation at that.  I will, however, point out several of my favorite features, just in case you are one of the totally uncool people left who still aren’t on there…

First and foremost, I have found people on there that I haven’t heard from in a very long time.  It’s fun to reconnect with (some) people that you’ve lost touch with over the years.  I’ve connected with people I worked with 10 years ago, people I went to high school with 100 years ago, and even a few people I used to babysit 1000 years ago.  Once connected, you can keep up with what they’re up to just by following their profiles or you can engage in more direct communication if/when either of you choose to do so.  It’s great to login and find an invitation to connect from an old friend.

Secondly, it’s a fairly new application, but there is now a blogging network.  You can connect to mine HERE.  Since it’s in it’s infancy I would suggest joining now if you want to really get all the benefits of reaching as many people as you can before they start charging for it.  You can also add a badge to your blog directing readers to your network.

Third…all the ridiculously trivial, immature, fun shenanigans that go on.  There are applications you can add to send just about any sort of nonsense to your friends.  My personal favorite is the Bumper Sticker application.  You can send important things such as this one to any or all of your friends 24/7 for no reason at all….

(Sample Bumper Sticker)

Another one I like is Mob Wars.  You get to be your own mob boss and do mob…stuff.  Ok, if I had a job I probably wouldn’t be on level 68 but don’t judge.  It’s silly, I know, but fun!

Finally, there are a gazillion random groups you can join.  For example, I am a proud member of the group entitled: I Dont care How Comfortable Crocs Are, You Look Like A Dumbass.  There are also actual grown-up companies, groups and causes on there to join as well, such as: Susan G. Komen for the Cure, of which I am also a proud member.

So, if you’re not on…get on (and join my blog network)!  It’s worth it for the bumper sticker application alone.  I have wasted hours and hours of my life searching for just the right bumper sticker. 

Thanks for stopping by!

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