So Much More Than A Mom » Chicago

March Forth!

Cyndi — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 19:47:19 +0000

“I’m not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose… it’ll be much harder to detect.” – George Carlin

So it’s happened. I’m 40. All hell did not break loose. Not even part of it. I did not change my mind about how I feel about this milestone.

I have been reflecting on the past decade though. My youngest son was born the year I turned 30. I had a hard time with 30. I even warned people to watch out for 2010 because if my reaction to turning 30 was any indication, turning 40 was not going to be pretty at all. I now think that’s because I was secretly a mess. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’m still a mess but it’s no longer a secret. That’s what I like to call progress.

One thought that has been recurring during my recent reflections is that I have made significant personal changes over the past decade, most over the past 3 years, but still feel….unsettled….unfinished. I’ve realized that I am unfinished and hope to stay that way for the rest of my life. It’s a good thing. To become set in my ways, stop learning, stop trying new adventures….that would be stagnating, suffocating, THAT would be getting old.

But the one thing I haven’t managed to change for the better in the past decade is my almost constant unacceptable level of anxiety. I am one high strung 40 year old broad. Enough already. As has been well documented on this blog it’s all based in fear, worry and lack of control. It’s time to take this seriously and work on taking things down a few hundred notches. IT (whatever IT is at any given moment) just isn’t that bad, worth my suffering or within my control. And so what? All hell may break loose but I certainly can’t stop it by being irritable, stressed out and upset. I can’t stop it at all. I need to focus on learning to roll with things sometimes, picking my battles and stopping my own anxiety before it reaches critical melt-down levels. So, that’s my project. Learning to relax and just chill out for once.

My blogging friend Christina pointed out that March 4th is the only date that is also a command. I love that! It’s fun. Through these wondrous interwebs I have also discovered that it’s my hometown Chicago’s birthday AND even better for this self-proclaimed grammar nazi, it’s also National Grammar Day!

The moral of this story: Bring it on…let hell break loose. Just don’t misspell anything.

Thanks for stopping by!

Fallancholy

Cyndi — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 01:52:25 +0000

“It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone. You count on it, rely on it to buffer the passage of time, to keep the memory of sunshine and high skies alive, and then just when the days are all twilight, when you need it most, it stops. Today, October 2, a Sunday of rain and broken branches and leaf-clogged drains and slick streets, it stopped and summer was gone.” — A. Bartlett Giamatti

I actually like fall. I love the whole back-to-school feeling. You know, that feeling of starting over with a clean slate? I love the smell of new school supplies. I love the smell of burning leaves, pumpkin patches and apple orchards too. Humans cannot make anything as beautiful as a landscape full of brightly colored trees that look all lit-up when the sun shines through the leaves. Some friends and I used to take an annual weekend trip every fall. Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays because there is nothing obligatory about it. I love football. I like the feel of soft cozy sweaters and thick, warm socks. There are a lot of reasons I like fall. There is only one reason i don’t love it; winter always follows.

I hate winter. It’s depressing. It’s barren. It’s bone-chillingly cold to the point where days go by without my feet ever truly warming up. The days are short but the season is long. Way too long for me. Christmas is the one and only bright spot in this entire season. I can appreciate the beauty of a quiet blanketing snowfall like anyone else. Unfortunately, those always seem to occur when I’m on my way home from work , making them much less quiet and beautiful.

My favorite season, by far, is summer. I do like spring but really only because it means summer is finally on it’s way. This year, we were ripped off. Our summer was short and not particularly hot. It already feels more like October than August. Life isn’t fair, I know, but how about a little global warming for us here in Chicagoland, huh?!

When I think about winter approaching, I feel profoundly sad. To me, winter is just a 5 (if we’re lucky) to 7 (if we’re not) month period of time to be gotten through. Similar to a root canal or blood test. It’s a nasty, bitter time of year during which I just have to suck it up and wait it out. Every. Single. Year.

This leads to the obvious question. Why the hell do I still live here? There are many reasons. The primary reason is the people that are here. I moved to this area when I was ten years old. When I was eight years old, we moved away from our extended family, never to return to that state. We lived in upstate New York for two years and then landed here for good. I remember the two moves and how much I hated them. I hated leaving people behind. When we moved here from New York I swore I’d move back there as soon as I turned 18. That didn’t happen because by then I had all but forgotten the people I left there and couldn’t have parted with the people I knew here. Well that, and I was broke and had lost any desire to live in New York.

I am extremely attached to my friends, family and even acquaintences here. The idea of living in a different town, let alone state, from my sister is unfathomable. I’m not kidding. We’ve never lived more than just a few miles apart. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I like the idea that there is a strong possibility of running into someone I know at any major event in the Chicagoland area. It’s home.

So, why does my home have to be invaded by an ice age every single year, huh?! Why couldn’t my parents have gone to San Diego after New York?! No such luck.

I also love the idea that my kids don’t remember any other home but the one we live in now. We moved here when they were one and three years old, respectively. My sixth grader is going to school with kids he played t-ball with when he was four. I like it that way. Maybe I like it because I hated moving so much as a kid. I hated being the “new girl” and having to prove myself to a new group of kids twice in two years. I like stability and I want it for my kids.

Hubby and I can’t agree on where we would move. He hates winter too, although not as much as I do. He says he does but he still goes to Bears games in December. I would never even consider it, even though I love the Bears. He wants no part of a coast. He doesn’t want to have to worry about hurricanes or tsunamis or being wiped off the face of the earth if the ocean chooses to stop cooperating with us. That’s a big problem. I love the ocean. I see no point in moving to somewhere warm if we’re not on, or very near, the ocean. I want to hear it, smell it and see it regularly. I want the sound of it to lull me to sleep every night. I want to take long walks on the beach. He hates sand. That’s pretty much how all conversations about moving between us end.

We may end up moving someday, who knows. In the meantime, I’ve taken it upon myself to make up a new word to describe my mood now that I realize that another Chicago winter is just around the corner and I will be in it. Fallancholy. It’s meaning is self-evident. I guess there is one good thing about winter though…there’s a lot more time to read!

Thanks for stopping by!

Someone Could Have Mentioned That Meditation Was A Winter Sport

Cyndi — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 12:34:23 +0000

“Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.” — George Carlin

My sister and I went to meditation class last night. Two other women in my life were considering going too after reading about my experiences. It turned out that neither could make it. I was disappointed at first. Don’t I get extra Karma points for “recruiting”?

This has been a mild summer here in Chicagoland. Normally at this time of year it’s unbearably hot and humid out almost every day. This year, it’s been pretty cool. There was a week where the temps were in the 90’s earlier in the summer but lately…not so much. This week it’s finally been hotter, in the 80’s.

I love summer. I don’t even mind the unbearable heat and humidity as long as I’m outside at a pool soaking up some rays or at a barbecue or fest. Most of the year, the temps are well below 40 so summer is a big deal around here. But I can’t stand being hot and sweaty indoors. It’s gross and uncomfortable.

Because it’s been so unseasonably cool so far this summer (which is almost over by the way and I’m not happy about this at all), there was something that I never noticed about the temple where meditation class is held. THERE IS NO AIR CONDITIONING.

It was like a freakin’ oven in there. The temple is an old converted barn with high ceilings. There are ceiling fans but they are about 15 feet up. For reasons that I do not understand, the front doors were not open either. It was actually pretty breezy out last night and I’m sure some air coming in would have helped.

Did I mention that during the actual sitting meditation period, we also have to cover our legs with a heavy towel? Something about protecting the knees. We were all sitting there sweating in places a person should not sweat for the entire meditation. That made it difficult to think about anything but getting the hell out of there.

I still did ok, considering the inhumane conditions. I managed to stay pretty focused for most of the time. But, by the final 10 minutes, I kept opening my eyes to check the clock. I felt somewhat relaxed afterwards, but mostly just happy to get outside. I was so happy that the two women I know weren’t able to make it. If they are anything like me, they may not have enjoyed the sauna-like heat and had a bad first visit.

I’m thinking a fundraiser is in order. Immediately. That, or I just don’t go again until fall. I’m certainly not going to wish for cooler weather.

Thanks for stopping by!

Roller Coaster Rides

Cyndi — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 03:43:05 +0000

“You know, when I was nineteen, Grandpa took me on a roller coaster. Up, down, up, down. Oh, what a ride! I always wanted to go again. You know, it was just so interesting to me that a ride could make me so frightened, so scared, so sick, so excited, and so thrilled all together! Some didn’t like it. They went on the merry-go-round. That just goes around. Nothing. I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it.” – Grandma in Parenthood

Hubby’s cousin had four free tickets to Six Flag’s Great America (or just Great America as we call it around here) that were going to expire on Sunday and she couldn’t use them. Hubby asked if I wanted to go on Saturday.

Of course I knew the kids would love it. I also knew at $55.00 a pop, we couldn’t otherwise afford it right now. I knew I’d have a good time too, having fun with the family and all those roller coasters to ride. I love them. The bigger the better (yes, size does matter).

On the other hand, if hubby invited a friend and his kids to go with him and our boys, that would give me one really long day alone. I do love my alone time. I also had tons of things I needed to do.

In the end, I decided that I didn’t want to pass up the opportunity to have such a fun day with my family. I can get more alone time another day. Like when they want to go camping or do some other objectionable activity. And I am more than experienced enough at procrastination to know the laundry would wait too.

I think of this quote from Parenthood every time I hear the words, “roller coaster”. I think of it mostly because of what Steve Martin’s character says shortly after Grandma’s little speech in response to his wife’s declaration that she thinks his Grandma is brilliant, “Yeah if she’s so brilliant why is she sitting in our NEIGHBOR’S CAR?”. That whole movie cracks me up no matter how many times I watch it. For some reason, Grandma’s sweet little speech combined with Steve Martin’s biting sarcasm and the ridiculousness of her sitting in the neighbor’s car still makes me laugh out loud. I’m laughing right now just writing about it. ”It’s an…electric ear cleaner.”. Ok, I digress….

My point is that I love roller coasters. Yes, L-O-V-E. I could ride them all day. Anything that spins in circles (even merry-go-rounds) make me sick but those huge, terrifying, stomach-dropping hills….I can’t get enough of them.

We had a great day. Hubby likes roller coasters too, as does our 10 year old son. He even went with us on Superman, which was an unbelievable ride. Our 8 year old son finally agreed to go with me on the smallest roller coaster they have and he didn’t like it one bit. Luckily some other family members were there too so he stayed with them while we risked our lives on the thrill rides. He did like the water rides and several other rides so he still had a good day too. The roller coasters just aren’t for him…yet. I’m going to keep working on him.

This whole fascination of mine with roller coasters got me thinking. Unfortunately, I rambled for so long about the movie and the day at the amusement park that I never got around to what I was thinking about. So, until next time…

Thanks for stopping by!

Further Evidence That Global Warming Is A Myth

Cyndi — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 15:35:40 +0000

“The snow doesn’t give a soft white damn who it touches.” – e. e. cummings

You may be wondering why I’m posting Christmas pictures on April 6th. I’M NOT! This picture was taken TODAY.

We’ve had some pretty decent weather here in Chicagoland lately, mostly in the 50’s but a couple of 60-70 degree days. It was feeling like spring. Then, last night…this nonsense. The high for today is going to be 37 degrees. My boys are on Spring Break this week. The plan was to do all sorts of things…OUTSIDE!! Now, we’re trapped in here and it’s only day one, but I have to admit they’re already driving me a little nuts. To top it all off, my favorite tulips are in peril…

That’s just wrong.

The good news is that it’s allegedly going to get back up into the 50’s later in the week. Even so, this snow is completely unacceptable. I was about ready to go get a pedicure and start tanning in preparation for summer. Instead, I have to shovel snow?!! Global Warming? Not here.

Thanks for stopping by!

Three Hours Of My Life That I'll Never Get Back

Cyndi — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 22:03:53 +0000

“Why are we so full of restraint? Why do we not give in all directions? Is it fear of losing ourselves? Until we do lose ourselves there is no hope of finding ourselves.” – Henry Miller

I certainly lost myself today, although not in the way Henry Miller is speaking of in his quote. No, I actually got physically lost. More than once. On my way to a job interview. Yes, unfortunately, you did read that correctly.

You see, I am seriously directionally challenged. I need a GPS to find my way to just about any location, no matter how far or near, unless I’ve been there a million times before. Hubby and I have a rule. If we are together and not sure which way to turn, he will turn in the opposite direction of what I feel is the correct way. It works every time. Sadly, I’m not joking.

I am a suburbanite. I grew up in the suburbs and have never lived downtown (Chicago). I visit downtown fairly frequently but almost never am the driver. In my defense, I have gone downtown on more than one occasion alone and have successfully found my way. Unfortunately, today was not one of those occasions.

Embarrassingly enough, today I had printed map-quest directions and my GPS. Still, no luck.

The map-quest directions and the GPS told me to turn left onto a side street. This seemed odd to me, as the address was on a major street. I just figured the building must be on the corner of the two streets. Nope. I still have no clue why the directions guided me down that street. It was nowhere near my destination.

Once I finally got back onto the major street, headed in the right direction, I was confronted with a detour due to road construction. I followed the detour, got a little turned around, but got back onto the right track pretty quickly.

I found the correct block that my destination should have been on, based on the addresses of the buildings there, but never did see the address I had been given. I figured I just missed it since I was also trying to navigate downtown traffic at the time and went looking for a parking garage.

There were none in the immediate vicinity and many unfamiliar one-way streets before I found one. It seemed like I was only a few blocks away so I pulled in and started walking. In the meantime, I had called and left two voice mails for my contact person but they had not been returned.

I was excited about this interview. I got to dress up in some of my fun professional clothes, take a nice long drive on the expressway with my iPod on, put on make-up, jewelry and do my hair. I was confident that the interview would go well as I am more than qualified for the job. I felt like I might almost regain the workforce and once again be a productive member of society.

I walked and walked and walked. I stopped to ask directions three times. By the time I was a half an hour late for my appointment and still hadn’t heard from my contact person, I figured I had just blown it and headed back to the parking garage.

I walked and walked and walked. I couldn’t find the freakin’ parking garage! By this point, my feet are killing me, because I was wearing my fabulous boots with fabulous heels and I’m freezing! I stopped to ask for directions to the garage and thank goodness, this time the person I asked actually knew what she was talking about.

I wanted to hug my car when I finally got there. I was just happy to be able to sit down and extatic that my car wasn’t forever lost.

About halfway home, my contact person returned my call. She hadn’t been in the office (?) but graciously agreed to have me do a phone interview instead. She was extremely understanding, given the circumstances. I felt like a complete moron. Oh, and the reason I didn’t see the address? It was under construction and there was a huge scaffolding covering the front of the building…good to know.

It turns out there are no jobs for me right now anyway. This was a staffing firm and the only position they have available right now is located about 40 miles away from my house and during rush hour traffic would be about an hour and a half drive each way. They’ll keep my resume on file for any future openings in my area. Right. Would you?

So, it was a complete waste of most of my day and not the productive interview and possible job opportunity that I thought it would be. I’m taking this all as a sign that I was headed in the wrong direction all along.

Thanks for stopping by!

Watchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis?

Cyndi — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 16:15:05 +0000

“Alex stood near Tiger Stadium. It was closed down now and abandoned, a ghost of itself. Alex loved baseball and lamented the new stadiums and their corporate sponsors. Who wanted to watch the almost spiritual game of baseball in a park named after a …damned financial institution?” – Gary Hardwick

I found this disturbing article early this morning:

End of an era: Sears Tower re-named to Willis Tower

Are you freakin’ kidding me??!! I’m all for keeping jobs in Chicago. But renaming the Sears Tower? Absurd and self-indulgent.

We stood by quietly when the World Music Center was first renamed Tweeter Center and then finally, the even more ridiculously corporate name; First Midwest Bank Amphitheatre. In fact, I had to look that up. I can never remember what it’s called. When I’m talking about seeing a concert there, I refer to it simply as, “Tinley Park”.

We barely blinked an eye when the Rosemont Horizon was renamed Allstate Arena.

We even accepted when Comiskey Park was renamed U.S. Cellular Field. We just refer to it now as, “The Cell”, but secretly still think of it as Comiskey Park.

This one, The Sears Tower, is the final corporate straw. Not that any of us ever visit there…that’s for tourists. But as the article indicates, it’s an iconic landmark. We’re proud of the fact that our city houses the tallest building in the world (technically now the 4th tallest but we don’t actually acknowledge that dubious fact).

Will we EVER refer to this building as Willis Tower? I don’t think so. I certainly hope not.

If you agree, please let Willis know HERE.

Thanks for stopping by!

Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations ~ Chicago

Cyndi — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 07:14:33 +0000

“This is evil in the best possible way.”- Anthony Bourdain (Chicago)

I have to admit to having mixed feelings about the Chicago episode. Having lived here for over 20 years, I don’t think he got it. At least, he didn’t nail it like I’d hoped he would. I’m certainly no food critic, chef, travel expert or tv show critic. I’m not saying I could have done it better, just that I thought he would have.

Hot Doug’s - never been there but was drooling over the hot dogs. Even he admitted we have NY beat there, which was cool. I could have lived without the version with foie gras, but I get it, he was obviously impressed with the rebellious attitude that won that particular war, and good for them! Paul Kahan & his crew were great at the end of the show.

Not one visit to a fest? That’s what we do all summer, practically every neighborhood has at least one.

I was hoping he’d hook up with Rick Bayless.

TOM-TOMS??!! I thought they only sold those at gas stations. Ick.

Mancow, really? He isn’t from Chicago and I didn’t know he was even still here.

Pizza: we love our thin crust pizza…it was as if the ONLY pizza in Chicago is deep dish. I have already been criticized for this one, but I think he would also love The Chicago Pizza And Oven Grinder, maybe early on a Sunday, for lunch, before the crowd gets there. I’m not suggesting that Anthony Bourdain would enjoy the whole Lincoln Park scene. However, this particular restaurant has delicious and unique food (pizza pie, Mediterranean bread, poppy-seed dressing…yum).

And he didn’t get pissed off or rant about anything, not once. Not even when Mancow was being obnoxious. That’s no fun at all! Where was the snark?!

I love this show in general. I just expected more from this episode. It seems in other cities, that I haven’t been to, he really gets into what the “locals” are into and I didn’t get that feeling from the majority of this episode.

What did you think?

No Reservations: Chicago!!

Cyndi — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 21:22:59 +0000

“When Tony gets hungry, things die.” – Anthony Bourdain

I have to preface this post by saying I can’t believe Anthony Bourdain was in Chicago and I didn’t know about it or stalk see him!!

Tony loves the energy and edge of big cities. So how is it that he has avoided Chicago for so long? In the upcoming episode of No Reservations,
he sets off on “some unfinished business” to rectify that situation.

When people think of Chicago they think of deep-dish pizza, hot dogs, seafood from the Calumet River and Mancow Muller, Chicago’s own shock jock. Tony decides to put all of them to the test and soak in even a bit more of Chicago, such as meeting with avant-garde chef Homaro Cantu, and dinning at the famous L20. He even makes an appearance at a backyard BBQ, for homemade specialties like sausage, creamed corn and beans.

Tony concludes that although Chicago has been dubbed ‘the Second City’ – Chicago holds it’s own as a great metropolis and in fact needs no comparison. Make sure you watch on a full stomach, because the food looks delicious!

Catch the new episode Monday, February 2nd at 10pm EST on the Travel Channel.

Here is a link to the promo video:
http://www.viddler.com/explore/TravelChannel/videos/68/

Tony will also have a post about the episode on his blog Monday:
http://anthony-bourdain-blog.travelchannel.com/

The Obligatory Presidential Inauguration Post

Cyndi — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 03:49:01 +0000

“On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord. On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.” – President Barack Obama

I watched it. All day. What is it with Ted Kennedy, does he always have to steal everyone’s thunder? Ok, that wasn’t nice. But you laughed a little didn’t you?

I’m no political pundit. I don’t want to get into debating politics. I will say that I am not sad to see the past administration exit. I will also say that President Obama is a great orator. Maybe he really isn’t. Maybe I just got so used to Bush spewing unintelligible nonsense for the past eight years that I have lowered my standards. “Strategery”. No, that wasn’t Bush, it was Will Farrell. I digress…

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptAoJedxFzU]

I will also say that President Obama is inspirational. He inspires hope. We can use some hope. I think the vast majority of politicians are corrupt and greedy bastards. I hope he isn’t. He doesn’t seem to be, but then again, maybe he’s such an excellent public speaker (or is he?) that even I, a cynical, jaded anti-politician have turned into an idealistic believer. I hope not.

There are extremely high expectations for him and his administration. I hope he can live up to them.

Thanks for stopping by!

So Much More Than A Mom » Chicago

March Forth!

“I’m not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose… it’ll be much harder to detect.” – George Carlin

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Fallancholy

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Someone Could Have Mentioned That Meditation Was A Winter Sport

“Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.” — George Carlin

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Roller Coaster Rides

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Further Evidence That Global Warming Is A Myth

“The snow doesn’t give a soft white damn who it touches.” – e. e. cummings

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Three Hours Of My Life That I'll Never Get Back

“Why are we so full of restraint? Why do we not give in all directions? Is it fear of losing ourselves? Until we do lose ourselves there is no hope of finding ourselves.” – Henry Miller

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Watchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis?

End of an era: Sears Tower re-named to Willis Tower

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Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations ~ Chicago

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No Reservations: Chicago!!

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The Obligatory Presidential Inauguration Post

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