Hints Of Things To Come
“When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability… To be alive is to be vulnerable.” — Madeleine L’Engle
There is a hint of spring in the air today finally. Finally! Actually it’s more like a hint of summer. Seventy-eight glorious degrees. Even though I had to work today, having all the windows open and getting outside during lunch was…heavenly. It’s supposed to be eighty-two tomorrow! I cannot wait for summer. The sunshine and heat just make life…good.
So, the plan was to spend my lunch doing something outside with my sons since they are on spring break this week. I’ve felt badly that we haven’t been able to take any field trips since I’m working and wanted to do something fun with them today even if it was just for a short time.
They decided they wanted to fly kites. Perfect! We went to the store to get them but they were all too “babyish”. I suggested another store. In the meantime, my oldest son, 11 years old, had received a call on the cell phone that I originally was against but now love since I can reach him wherever he is out in the world. His friends were at the park. He wanted to go. He did not care that he didn’t have a kite. Oh…and he did not want me to go with him. You know, having your mom with you at the park is, like, so not cool, especially when your girlfriend is there.
Yep. My 11 year old has a girlfriend. It’s been almost 2 weeks. That’s a long time for the 6th grade. A group of them are going to the movies this weekend. He told her he’d pay for her. He explained that he wants to be a good boyfriend. While I admire his chivalry I had to point out the obvious. He has no money. Last time I checked I was still buying his underwear. So….in reality it is hubby and I who are being chivalrous. We get to pay for 2 tickets, popcorn, etc. and we don’t even get to see the movie! Oh, and we get to drive a few of them there.
So…..it is not cool to buy a kite that is shaped like a parrot or eagle and it is not cool to go to the park with your mom if your friends are there. But….it is cool for your parents to pay your cell phone bill, buy your underwear, drive you to the movies AND pay for you and your “girlfriend”.
WOW. No wonder parents struggle so much with teenagers! And my son isn’t quite 12 yet! I’m so screwed. In his defense he felt badly once he realized how much it actually costs to go to the movies. But now that he’s promised we can’t bring ourselves to not give him the money. We did say this would be the last time we pay for anyone else. He’s really more excited about going to the movies with a group of kids and no parents hanging around (after we drop them off of course). Freedom. I remember each of my own first tastes of increased independence. It feels good. I’m happy for him and excited for him too. But I’m sad for me. My tiny little 5-pound preemie is too cool for me in public now. It stings.
Luckily, my youngest son isn’t quite lost to me yet. We had to explain to him why I was uninvited from the trip to the park. He didn’t understand why his brother’s friends presence at the park precluded me from going. And that is how my youngest son unwittingly (and thankfully) saved me from secretly curling up into a ball and crying during lunch today. At least I still have one little boy for a little while longer.
Thanks for stopping by!
Ha. “I want to leave you. Will you drive me there?” The paradoxes of being a parent.
I admire and respect the awesome task you’ve taken of continuing the chain of life less the poison of narcissism.
Thank you Tyler!
At least they leave us for the horizon little steps at a time. I was refused a hug by 12 y/o daughter yesterday. What?! One hour later she was saying she was wanting to learn how to drive.
Not without a hug I say. Back to normal today, whatever that means.
Dawn´s last blog ..Our Home and Garden Moments
Ha! The aforementioned 11 year old is also bugging us to let him back the car out of the driveway. All is not lost….yet….when I went downstairs after publishing this post he was in the backyard playing in the sandbox.
Oh no, that post brought tears to my eyes. “little 5 pound preemie…”
I love how he said “he’d” pay! That’s so him!
Steph´s last blog ..I have WORMS!
Me too.
That is SO him!
i hear the hoofbeats. it won’t be long till my boys are “dating” and avoiding me. i’m not looking forward to it. thanks for the laugh this morning!
oh and you could make son do something special to earn the money then he could feel like he really was paying. pull weeds or something like that.
consuella´s last blog ..the vegetarian chronicles
Oooohhhh….excellent idea. He’s been asking for more stuff to do to increase his allowance and I hate pulling weeds!
If you had a “like” button I would so hit it on this one!
Steph´s last blog ..I have WORMS!
Aw….thanks!
I’ve not given my kids allowance. Ever.
We make due with the “general fund” and share the tasks. They’ve become aware of “the budget” we work within … an evening of roller skating means breakfast for dinner one night. If 12 y/o old daughter requests an iPhone, I say, “Sure, we don’t really need electricity … ” and she gets that!
Dawn´s last blog ..Our Home and Garden Moments
We’ve only recently instituted a meager weekly allowance. We’re trying to teach them the value of earning and saving their money. We’re not sure how that’s going to go yet. They have become very aware of budgets and general funds since my career tanked and belts were tightened. They request things like laptops and iPhones too! They are told if they save enough money to buy one they can purchase one. I don’t even have a freakin’ iPhone!
This post touched my heart, Cyndi. I love the double meaning of hints of things to come: spring and raising a teenager. Your 11-year-old sounds like he is on his way to becoming a delightful young man. Good job!!
karen
Karen Walker´s last blog ..Creating new brain cells
Thanks Karen! Yes, he has been a delight from the day he was born.
LOL! I love this story.
It is clear that you have taught him how to treat a lady. That is so sweet!
Tammy´s last blog ..The World is Spinning off Axis…
Thanks Tammy, he is a sweetie!
Seriously, you can’t get any freaking sweeter or more thoughtful than that kid! The fact that his first “relationship” has last two weeks is a huge testament to that. In sixth grade that’s a lifetime! Christmas break is that long, and that’s HUGE!
Steph´s last blog ..I have WORMS!
I know, he’s such a sweetie. And it’s cute that they are both so innocent (thank god!) too.
Aw, Cyndi. This is so cute. He does sound like a real little gentleman. I remember those “group” dates–the little girls would arrange for a group of them to all meet at the movies. I’m sure they sometimes paired up once they all met–but it is still so cute and innocent at this stage.
Yep, it is cute and he better be a gentleman dammit!!
i swear i responded to this. or maybe i dreamed i did. gah.
anyway, i didn’t mind my parents being around, but i was SO embarassed in middle school when my grandpa would drop me off in his HUGE camper.
I can imagine being embarrassed of being dropped off in a camper! I remember being embarrassed of my parents but secretly hoped that we’d be so cool our kids would never feel that way.
So cute! Thank you for sharing!
My boy just turned two. So, I still have a few years. But, I also know that those years will fly by!
They do fly by and I certainly don’t miss having a 2 year old in the house. It was fun at the time but I wouldn’t go back. I don’t think I have the energy anymore! I remember how overwhelmed I was when my youngest son was born and my oldest was 2. Talk about high maintenance – I rarely left my house except for work! Each stage is fun while it lasts but the next one brings more fun and adventures. Enjoy your little guy!
This is a cute post. My 10 year old is in love and they have been “going out” for 5 months. Why can’t it stay innocent forever??
5 months?! That’s a really long time at that age. It is so cute and innocent. I wish it could at least stay that way until they’re 30.
*sniff* where does the time go? I think, for the record, that you are one cooooool mom!
Cheryl´s last blog ..Ready set — compose.
Thanks Cheryl, I hope they think so some day!
Our children often remind us of our vulnerability. Thanks for sharing. You are a good Mom to know when to be there and when to let go, even when it hurts a little.
Mark´s last blog ..The Long View
*sob* This totally made me cry….for you, and because I know it will be here before I know it. Please pass on any words of advice, wit, wisdom that you may accrue. Certainly going to need them. Those boys are hard work. The mother/son bond is indescribable, I think.
Jess´s last blog ..Wine Fairy
I have ZERO advice so far, I’m barely navigating this uncharted territory as it is. It makes me cry too. The mother/son bond is indescribable and while it’s excited to see them grow and change it is bittersweet because they are growing and changing.