Children’s Rights
“A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity. It dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.” — Agatha Christie
When my friend Gina was first diagnosed with cancer her biggest concern was that she would die before her twin daughters turned 18. She was afraid that their biological father would take them away from everything she had worked so hard to provide: stability and love, their home, their step-father and their little sister. Throughout her battle with cancer I never once heard her complain about herself, the treatments or anything else. Her mantra never changed. She simply had to stay alive until the twins were 18. She knew she could not fall short of this because the consequences for her daughters were too horrific for her to even consider.
Her worst nightmares have come true.
Last week, less than two months after losing their mother, their biological father abruptly removed them from their school in the upscale suburb in which they have lived for more than 1/2 of their lives. He has taken them to the home of the most recent woman he is living with in a rough neighborhood. He has told them that their mother never loved them and only wanted his money. He has cut them off from all of their family and told them they will never see their step-father or little sister again. He has not even bothered to enroll them in school.
I don’t know what precipitated any of this. I do know that the girls are terrified and cut off from everyone they love, everything that is familiar and safe to them and all while still grieving the very recent death of their mother.
Her sister said it best, “Gina is counting on all of us to fix this.”.
I don’t know how to fix this. All I do know is that getting the word out through my blog may lead us to someone who can help. There is a court hearing next week in DuPage County IL. If anyone reading this knows anyone or knows someone who may know anyone that can help my friend’s daughters (attorneys, advocates, etc.) PLEASE leave a comment here.
Thank you.
Dear Cyndi,
That is such a heartbreaking story! You didn’t say how old the girls are now, but I wonder if a report could be made to Children’s Protective Services based on their biological father not enrolling them in school and not allowing them to see their younger sister. At least that would start a paper trail, in case the stepfather decides to try for custody. Reports can be made anonymously.
There is also an organization called CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocates). They are there to support children who are in court for determination of custody and placement. I don’t know if the children have to be in the Social Services Dept. or not, but it might be something to check out. If the children are teenagers, it seems like they should be able to speak up for where they want to live, if there is a custody hearing.
My heart goes out to them. Their world has certainly come crashing down around them. They’re in my thoughts and prayers.
Sincerely,
Linda Menesez
Is there some kind of helpline or child advocacy place that could steer you in the direction of a good lawyer? Any sites?
Christina´s last blog ..Spaghetti Squash Boats
I tweeted and have up on Facebook! I hope I get some bites! A girl coming to our superbowl party works for a lawyer so I’ll ask her tomorrow too!
Christina´s last blog ..Spaghetti Squash Boats
are you freaking kidding me!!!!! that is awful. what in the world? i can’t even imagine of a father who would be so selfish as to do this to his children. well, i can but i hate that it is possible. i don’t have anyway to help. just prayers. and you have those.
consuella´s last blog ..showing up
Oh Cyndi. This is just unbelievably horrible. Those girls have been through so much and their father sounds like a heartless selfish idiot. How can you tear teenaged girls away from their school and friends and their own little sister–all of the support they need after their mother’s death? Any child advocate or judge would have to see that this is devastating for them.
I’m so glad you are such a caring person and someone who is looking out for these girls since obviously their bio father is not.
The weakness of the enemy makes our strength. – Cherokee
Look for my email.
Thank you all so much for your comments and assistance!
Cyndi-
Am one of the everyday readers of your blog, although I hardly comment. I am feeling that in retrospect we will see that the shining moment for your writing and the meaning of it all will be the community you have formed that is going to “right” this terrible injustice. Someday these kids will be old enough to read all the touching things you have written about Gina and now them. It will illuminate a very dark time of their lives. Sending strong positive thoughts their (and your) way.
Hello Tamryn! Thank you so much for reading and for your comments and positive thoughts.
So sorry this happened – not only the loss of your friend, but the loss of the twins.
I work in a law firm in Barrington, IL, but we do insurance defense, but I’ll see if anyone knows someone who may be able to help.
Biz´s last blog ..BSI – Coconut Milk!
i have nothing to offer except prayers for gina’s daughters, their TRUE family, and those that love them. i just said a prayer. Legally, I’m not sure there’s much anyone can do. It depends on the state. Perhaps since they are minors and he hasn’t even registered them for school that is grounds for them to be back where they were?
hugs, my cyndi
That is messed up! Those poor girls don’t deserve this. I am woefully lacking in what else to say. My prayers and thoughts are with them.
Update: They won in court yesterday! The girls are temporarily back at home and in their own school, with their “father” getting his usual weekend visitation (should he choose to exercise it – he rarely did prior to Gina’s death). They have a long battle and more hearings but for now this is excellent news!!
Thank goodness for that! I’m imagining his motivation was for whatever Social Security income the girls would get due to their mother’s death, since you say he rarely chose to bother with the girls before now.
You’re right but it never occurred to me until I talked to the family over the weekend. I don’t know why I’m still shocked by people but I am.
I clicked through to your blog from a cooking blog that I was checking out. I”m so sorry for the loss of your friend and the additional trauma that her children (and friends!)have had to suffer as a result of her ex-husband’s meanness. I’m so happy that they girls are back with their family! I can only imagine how upset my kids would be if they were somehow unable to see their baby sister!
God bless you for all you’ve done, and bless the family that the legal system continues to work in the best interest of the children.
Thank you very much.
YAY for the court system! Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work quite like that and I’m so HAPPY to read that the girls are in their safe and loving home!
I’ve been clicking through blogs and found yours via blog catalog directory! You have a lovely writing voice and I look forward to reading more of your posts!
Wendy´s last blog ..A Beautiful Message
Well, thank you so much and welcome!
yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’ve been following this heartbreaking story, and I’m SOOO happy to hear that the girls’ lives have returned to some form of normalcy. Thinking of you!
This is heartbreaking to hear. Makes me want to go get those girls and bring them to my house–I’ve got two empty bedrooms because my two kids are in college… I’m so sorry for your loss and this on top of it–must be very hard for you. Sorry I am late replying–I can’t keep up lately. But thinking of you lots and I appreciate your friendship and support. Elaine
Just read all the comments. Thanks for the update! Wonderful news! So relieved to hear the girls are safe and sound. Gina’s loving spirit is still helping those girls and you! Elaine
Elaine´s last blog ..Feb. 20, 2010 Moving on from a Narcissistic Parent–A Former Obedient Child’s Fight For Freedom