Tears Laughter & An Unexpected Gift
“Living well is an art that can be developed: a love of life and ability to take great pleasure from small offerings and assurance that the world owes you nothing and that every gift is exactly that, a gift.” — Maya Angelou
Gina’s wake was on Monday evening. I had to work all day and as the day progressed I moved closer and closer towards panic. As is true of everything I can immediately think of, the reality was not nearly as horrific as I imagined. Yet another reason worry and anxiety are destructive wastes of time.
As soon as we walked in one of Gina’s 14 year old twins walked right up to me to say hi. As I hugged her I told her I was so sorry (what else do you say?). She said, “It’s ok.”. This beautiful child who had just lost her mother was telling me it was ok. I’m still speechless.
That encounter got me started. I cried. And cried. And cried. I cried looking at all of the beautiful pictures of my friend.
I cried looking at the closed casket. I cried looking at her daughters, her mother, her sister and brother, her husband and her grandmother. I cried over each and every word that was spoken about her.
I laughed. I laughed when I told hubby he had to dunk the biscotti in his coffee but he tried to break off a piece instead and Gina’s grandmother told him he had to dunk it. I laughed even more when I told her that’s what I said and an aunt chimed in with, “they never listen.”. I’m fairly certain that everyone laughed when Gina’s precocious and apparently attention-loving 3 year old daughter chose the middle of the Priest’s eulogy to proclaim as loudly as possible, “Ready! Set! Go!” and then proceed to run straight across the front of the room at full speed. Repeatedly. Probably about 10 times. I laughed when her sister and I agreed that Gina told her daughter to do that because things were getting way too serious in there.
I received a completely unexpected gift from the most unexpected source. I have secretly been wondering if Gina truly knew how much she meant to me. How much I loved her. See, as close as we were, we weren’t overly vocal about our feelings or particularly affectionate. We hugged hello and goodbye and frequently said, “I love you man.”. But I had this nagging doubt. I was afraid I had failed to convey how important to me she was. As open as I am in writing, I am much less comfortable vocalizing my feelings.
My gift? Her other 14 year old twin daughter introduced me to someone as her mom’s best friend. I couldn’t breathe for a second. Then I asked hubby if I had heard her correctly. He said yes. Now, I am a 39 year old woman, well past the point in life where I need anyone to assure me that I am their one and only BFF. However, hearing her daughter say that I was her mom’s best friend absolutely meant the world to me. I know she had many other close friends. But I also now know that Gina did know how important she was to me and how much I loved her. Thanks to her daughter.
I can’t begin to imagine how her family is feeling or how they will deal with their tremendous loss. I do know that they helped me a great deal last night. I only hope I can somehow return the favor.
Thanks for stopping by!
Your sentiments of this day and seeing Gina’s bright sparkling self make my heart swell.
I’m inspired each and every time you write from these places in life Cyndi. I celebrate the wonder of you and the gift that you are.
“I love you man.”
Dawn´s last blog ..I Wish I May, I Wish I Might
Thank you and I love you man too.
No word this time…Just tears!
Awww….I’m sorry.
Cyndi, your posts about your friendship with Gina have made me feel as if I know both of you. Thank you. My heart aches for all of you. The only thing I can think of that would be a gift to her children would be the stories you can tell them about their mom as they get older.
Karen
Karen Walker´s last blog ..Taking Care of Ourselves
Beautiful post. [[HUGS]].
Cyndi this is such a beautiful post. It brought tears to my eyes in understanding. The 3 ye old daughter story was so cute to hear and that was so sweet of the twin to reassure you! Also the sentiment shared on the back of Gina’s prayer card is the best I’ve seen – such a great msg to leave for your family and friends! What a great woman!
Christina´s last blog ..Christmas came early!
ok – tearing up at desk. what a beautiful gift you received. BIG HUGS to you cyndi!
Thank you so much ladies.
Christina: I agree. I almost thought she must have written herself it’s so perfect.
Cyndi I cried and laughed with you as I read this post. Incredibly beautiful.
I am going to call each and every one of my friends to express how much they mean to me!
Tammy´s last blog ..Peanut Butter and Jelly
Thank you Tammy. Great idea!
A very beautiful post, Cyndi. Your post is a good reminder to me not to sweat the small stuff and to tell the people I love just that more often. I thought I had learned that lesson when I lost both my parents well before their time, but sometimes hearing of a loss of someone so young is an important reminder, so thank you. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your friend’s family.
Thanks Sheryl and I’m so sorry about your parents.
well i just got home. just opened my reader. just read your post. i had one of those emotional roller coaster rides as i read from beginning to end. your friend is gone. what grief you must have been experiencing these past few days. then my heart got hopeful and even glad as i read about the gift you received from her daughter. you have a special gift to carry with you. you have loved well and been loved well in return. true friendship is a rare blessing, one to be cherished. i’m glad you had her in your life.
consuella´s last blog ..tomorrow!
Thank you and welcome home!
I am so sorry for the family and for you. These things make us realize how precious and fragile we humans are, and how much we need to tell each other as often as we can that we love and appreciate each other.
You are so right. Thanks Janina.
that unexpected gift… so perfectly timed. how wonderful for you to have the joy of that knowledge, knowing that you meant that much to somebody that their own family knew it, even if you weren’t quite sure of it.
time for me to peek around your blog some more.
i hope that you are doing well despite having lost your friend. sometimes it takes losing very important things to get us to realize the blessings we do have right in front of us. thank you for this reminder to breath it all in and be thankful for this life – as a mom and so much more!
susan
Hi there,
I wanted to stop by and say “hello” and that I’m incredibly sorry for your loss. I’ve been there…too many times and I know how much it hurts. I am so honored to read your words here and by your comments you left for me on my recent blog post as well. Cancer sucks, that’s for sure. How wonderful the affirmation of your friendship and love from her daughter and I hope that continues to bring you some peace.
Take care.
kathy´s last blog ..My Home Girl
Thank you Kathy and thanks again for your post.