Limbo
“Everyone makes choices in life. Some bad, some good. It’s called living, and if you want to bow out, then go right ahead. But don’t do it halfway. Don’t linger in whiner’s limbo.” — Maria V. Snyder
I had no particular quote in mind for this post. I only knew the title. I went searching for a quote containing the word, “limbo”, and found this amazing gem. I adore it.
I’ve been in whiner’s limbo. I lived there for the first 10 years of my marriage. I didn’t think that’s what I was doing. In reality I was too damned scared to make any changes. I pretended everything was just fine most of the time. When I did come face to face with reality I bowed out.
As has been well documented on this blog, that all changed. It’s been almost 2 years since I got back into the game, took responsibility for my choices and made many new choices. I will never ever go back. I will make bad choices. I’m worth the risk.
I’m in limbo in several different areas right now. One of these is completely out of my control. My friend was given a week and a half to live the weekend before Thanksgiving. Clearly the doctors were wrong about the time frame. It does not appear that they were wrong about the prognosis. This limbo between life and death is surreal to experience from my point of view. I cannot even begin to fathom what it feels like for her or her family.
There are two other areas in which I am also currently in limbo. I have some control over each of them. I made choices. I acted on them. Now I’m just waiting for the outcomes. In both cases I have done all that I can. The rest is up to the other parties involved. I apologize for sounding cryptic but for various reasons I do not want to write about them until the outcomes have been determined.
So why write about it at all? Because my reaction to being in limbo in three different situations at the same time is new. Back when I lived a fear-based life I would never have been able to handle these three situations all at the same time. I would have been an absolute emotional wreck. I would have worried and talked about the possible outcomes obsessively. This time…not so much. Yes, I think about these situations and I hope I have answers soon. But I’m not an emotional wreck. I’m not obsessing. I’m not even particularly attached to any expected outcome. Of course I wish my friend weren’t dying. But I have no way of fixing that. The other two are important to me, one more so than the other, and I really want a particular outcome but I won’t be devastated if I don’t get it.
This is what happens when you stop living in whiner’s limbo. You make choices. You may be disappointed but at least you did something. And the outcomes aren’t nearly as important to your emotional well-being because you learn that there will be even more exciting choices to be made tomorrow.
Thanks for stopping by!
Hmmm. Yes, limbo. A horrible place to be, and yet I see so many people CHOOSING to remain there. Why? Some people make excuse after excuse about why they can’t change the horrible situation they’re in—yet they whine constantly about how miserable they are. Do they feel like they should be martyrs in their own life? Do they just exaggerate about how bad things really are? Do they get comfort from whining? It’s a mystery.
The bottom line is this: There will always be brief periods when your life seems to be in limbo, like the situation with your friend or knowing you need to make a move but circumstances aren’t right. But if you really NEED to make a move and can, do it. Things will either get better, or you’ll have a new situation to deal with. Both better than being in limbo.
Yes, you’re so right! I was so intent on thinking about my 2 little limbo situations and how I’m not falling apart over them that I missed the obvious. This is exactly what the quote was about.
When I was in “whining limbo” in my marriage I was actually convinced that everything was ok for the most part. As I said, whenever reality smacked me in the face, I ignored it. But there are those that play the martyr and endlessly complain and still do nothing. It doesn’t make any sense to me either.
Good stuff!
Steph´s last blog ..Eco Beauty Part 2
Change is a great teacher. Even if you do “fall apart” it’s temporary … we get put back together again. Even better I think. And it’s perfectly okay to kick and scream and acknowledge the adversity or depth of feeling or general pissoffedness. Ride all the feelings like a surfer on a wave.
Spectacular post. Life is filled with depths and heights. Beautiful!
Dawn´s last blog ..As Still as This Pond
Thanks Dawn. That’s true too. All feelings are ok. “Pissoffedness”. I love it! In this case, I am just pleasantly surprised that I’m not falling apart simply worrying about the outcomes of the 2 things I’m waiting on, both of them risky on some level, and have even considered some possible unfavorable outcomes and none produce that old familiar knot in my stomach or compulsion to obsess.
Isn’t it wonderful to be able to reflect on how we used to deal with things in a not so great way and acknowledge our growth. I keep waiting to get to a certain place in my life where I will have arrived with everything the way I’ve always wanted it to be. Ain’t gonna happen. We can just deal with the moments, one at a time. Sounds like you’re doing just that, Cyndi.
karen
Karen Walker´s last blog ..Telling the Truth Tuesday – Bad Moods
isn’t it good to have something happen that allows you to look back and see how much you have grown? good on you!
ps i deserve a prize as i am taking time to comment on your blog while being on a delightful trip overseas!
consuella´s last blog ..tomorrow!
Ooh la la all the way from France….you do deserve a prize!
Good advice!!!
I hope that all turns out the way you would hope!
Tammy´s last blog ..The Dream Would Be…
i am in a limbo of sorts right now with a big decision to be made. a lot of people have strong opinions towards the direction i’m not leaning. interesting.
i am here if you want to email me ever. hugs.
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