Comments on: Inappropriate Behavior http://somuchmorethanamom.com/2009/11/14/inappropriate-behavior/ How many of us lost OURSELVES when we took on the awesome title of MOM? And why did we do that? We are ALL…SO MUCH MORE THAN A MOM! Mon, 15 Mar 2010 03:33:17 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Karen Walker http://somuchmorethanamom.com/2009/11/14/inappropriate-behavior/comment-page-1/#comment-4812 Karen Walker Mon, 16 Nov 2009 16:48:18 +0000 http://somuchmorethanamom.com/?p=2942#comment-4812 Thanks so much, Cyndi, for sharing your ongoing journey of raising your awareness about past issues and present behavior. I have been on a similar journey for30+ years now, and I'm here to tell you, it does get a little easier as time goes on. Recognizing that I am having reactions and feelings from my old self is so crucial to changing behavior in present time. This is a great, great, lesson you've presented here. Blessings, karen .-= Karen Walker´s last blog ..<a href="http://karenfollowingthewhispers.blogspot.com/2009/11/weekend-wrap-up_16.html" rel="nofollow">Weekend Wrap up</a> =-. Thanks so much, Cyndi, for sharing your ongoing journey of raising your awareness about past issues and present behavior. I have been on a similar journey for30+ years now, and I’m here to tell you, it does get a little easier as time goes on. Recognizing that I am having reactions and feelings from my old self is so crucial to changing behavior in present time. This is a great, great, lesson you’ve presented here.
Blessings,
karen
Karen Walker´s last blog ..Weekend Wrap up My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: Cyndi http://somuchmorethanamom.com/2009/11/14/inappropriate-behavior/comment-page-1/#comment-4806 Cyndi Sun, 15 Nov 2009 15:32:51 +0000 http://somuchmorethanamom.com/?p=2942#comment-4806 You hit the nail on the head. I've always worried more about being nice than about how I'm being treated. I make up the same excuses you do! "maybe he doesn’t realize how he is coming across. i’m sure i’m misinterpreting him….” I behave this way with all men. All. I behaved this way with my own husband for 10 years. I made excuses for everything he did or said that I didn't like and I went out of my way to please him too. He was never abusive and is not a narcissist but learned to take advantage of getting away with bullshit because I was too nice. I behaved this way on the phone the other day when talking to the 2nd man I wrote about in this post and I don't believe him to be a narcissist but I also don't know him well enough to know that. I have no clue if the high school boyfriend I wrote about was a narcissist or just behaving like an average teenage boy. I will tell you that if either of my boys treats a girl like that I will kick their ass! :) You hit the nail on the head. I’ve always worried more about being nice than about how I’m being treated. I make up the same excuses you do! “maybe he doesn’t realize how he is coming across. i’m sure i’m misinterpreting him….” I behave this way with all men. All.

I behaved this way with my own husband for 10 years. I made excuses for everything he did or said that I didn’t like and I went out of my way to please him too. He was never abusive and is not a narcissist but learned to take advantage of getting away with bullshit because I was too nice.

I behaved this way on the phone the other day when talking to the 2nd man I wrote about in this post and I don’t believe him to be a narcissist but I also don’t know him well enough to know that. I have no clue if the high school boyfriend I wrote about was a narcissist or just behaving like an average teenage boy. I will tell you that if either of my boys treats a girl like that I will kick their ass! :)

]]> By: i’m not afraid of anything, right? « expurgated no more! http://somuchmorethanamom.com/2009/11/14/inappropriate-behavior/comment-page-1/#comment-4805 i’m not afraid of anything, right? « expurgated no more! Sun, 15 Nov 2009 15:21:47 +0000 http://somuchmorethanamom.com/?p=2942#comment-4805 [...] ok so a blogger friend of mine got me to thinking.  damn you cyndi!  you can read her thoughts here to see what stirred the pot up.  but if i am really honest, it really started with this post.  i [...] [...] ok so a blogger friend of mine got me to thinking.  damn you cyndi!  you can read her thoughts here to see what stirred the pot up.  but if i am really honest, it really started with this post.  i [...]

]]> By: consuella http://somuchmorethanamom.com/2009/11/14/inappropriate-behavior/comment-page-1/#comment-4804 consuella Sun, 15 Nov 2009 14:32:44 +0000 http://somuchmorethanamom.com/?p=2942#comment-4804 ok that quote is amazing. i think that really sums up what has been happening in my therapy lately. i've definitely had to admit things so that i can restructure. anyway, this post is about YOU not about me... you story made me want to kick that guy's ass! does that surprise you? and then it made me think about all the time i have let other's be an ass because i didn't have appropriate boundaries. i think we do put up with too much from men sometimes. for me, i let much of it slide because i have this conversation going on in my head, "oh maybe he didn't mean it like that. maybe he doesn't realize how he is coming across. i'm sure i'm misinterpreting him...." and then i laugh, change the subject or walk away. the reality is that sometimes i am too worried about being NICE . i have to be nice to guys that are being inappropriate? wtf? it's good to recognize the things we do to receive validation. it is part of the process of valuing ourselves for who we are. plus i'm curious, was it the same with every guy you dated or where serious with? or only ones that had those damn narcissistic characteristics? .-= consuella´s last blog ..<a href="http://consuellabananahammock.wordpress.com/2009/11/12/yea-for-play/" rel="nofollow">yea for play!</a> =-. ok that quote is amazing. i think that really sums up what has been happening in my therapy lately. i’ve definitely had to admit things so that i can restructure. anyway, this post is about YOU not about me…

you story made me want to kick that guy’s ass! does that surprise you? and then it made me think about all the time i have let other’s be an ass because i didn’t have appropriate boundaries. i think we do put up with too much from men sometimes. for me, i let much of it slide because i have this conversation going on in my head, “oh maybe he didn’t mean it like that. maybe he doesn’t realize how he is coming across. i’m sure i’m misinterpreting him….” and then i laugh, change the subject or walk away. the reality is that sometimes i am too worried about being NICE . i have to be nice to guys that are being inappropriate? wtf?

it’s good to recognize the things we do to receive validation. it is part of the process of valuing ourselves for who we are.

plus i’m curious, was it the same with every guy you dated or where serious with? or only ones that had those damn narcissistic characteristics?
consuella´s last blog ..yea for play! My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: Swapna http://somuchmorethanamom.com/2009/11/14/inappropriate-behavior/comment-page-1/#comment-4802 Swapna Sun, 15 Nov 2009 03:41:13 +0000 http://somuchmorethanamom.com/?p=2942#comment-4802 Cindy, this again is another eyeopener for me (Gosh! dunno where else i would have learnt to be aware, so BIG Thank YOU). Its a struggle to challenge absolute truth and define the boundaries. I know better now. .-= Swapna´s last blog ..<a href="http://swapnap.wordpress.com/2009/11/14/love-then-and-now/" rel="nofollow">Love how…then and now</a> =-. Cindy, this again is another eyeopener for me (Gosh! dunno where else i would have learnt to be aware, so BIG Thank YOU). Its a struggle to challenge absolute truth and define the boundaries. I know better now.
Swapna´s last blog ..Love how…then and now My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: Cyndi http://somuchmorethanamom.com/2009/11/14/inappropriate-behavior/comment-page-1/#comment-4801 Cyndi Sun, 15 Nov 2009 01:56:20 +0000 http://somuchmorethanamom.com/?p=2942#comment-4801 I'm done dealing with senselessness, playing games and throwing smoke bombs. It's time for direct communication of what I find acceptable and what I don't. I learned to do that with my husband during our separation and marriage counseling. I felt safe trying it with him and it has turned out to be great for us....ruthless compassion as our good friend would say. Now, I just have to apply it to the rest of the world and let the chips fall where they may. I’m done dealing with senselessness, playing games and throwing smoke bombs. It’s time for direct communication of what I find acceptable and what I don’t. I learned to do that with my husband during our separation and marriage counseling. I felt safe trying it with him and it has turned out to be great for us….ruthless compassion as our good friend would say. Now, I just have to apply it to the rest of the world and let the chips fall where they may.

]]> By: Dawn http://somuchmorethanamom.com/2009/11/14/inappropriate-behavior/comment-page-1/#comment-4800 Dawn Sun, 15 Nov 2009 01:06:19 +0000 http://somuchmorethanamom.com/?p=2942#comment-4800 Yes you did grow out of the teenage years. You knew, as a mother and a wife, it was senseless game the whole time. I play stupid with senseless people and call it throwing smoke bombs. My character is not on the line. Making mistakes is growing. Dealing with senselessness is up too you. Remember :-) .-= Dawn´s last blog ..<a href="http://morsemusings.wordpress.com/2009/11/09/the-way-i-weigh-things/" rel="nofollow">The Way I Weigh Things</a> =-. Yes you did grow out of the teenage years. You knew, as a mother and a wife, it was senseless game the whole time. I play stupid with senseless people and call it throwing smoke bombs. My character is not on the line. Making mistakes is growing. Dealing with senselessness is up too you.

Remember :-)
Dawn´s last blog ..The Way I Weigh Things My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: Cyndi http://somuchmorethanamom.com/2009/11/14/inappropriate-behavior/comment-page-1/#comment-4799 Cyndi Sat, 14 Nov 2009 23:13:44 +0000 http://somuchmorethanamom.com/?p=2942#comment-4799 Absolutely true Les. Problem is, I apparently never stopped thinking like that stupid teenage girl. Until now. Absolutely true Les. Problem is, I apparently never stopped thinking like that stupid teenage girl. Until now.

]]> By: uberVU - social comments http://somuchmorethanamom.com/2009/11/14/inappropriate-behavior/comment-page-1/#comment-4798 uberVU - social comments Sat, 14 Nov 2009 23:13:33 +0000 http://somuchmorethanamom.com/?p=2942#comment-4798 <strong>Social comments and analytics for this post...</strong> This post was mentioned on Twitter by MuchMoreThanMom: Blog Post: Inappropriate Behavior: "There are kinds of action, for good or ill, that lie so far outside the boundar... http://bit.ly/3P7TRS... Social comments and analytics for this post…

This post was mentioned on Twitter by MuchMoreThanMom: Blog Post: Inappropriate Behavior: “There are kinds of action, for good or ill, that lie so far outside the boundar… http://bit.ly/3P7TRS...

]]> By: Les http://somuchmorethanamom.com/2009/11/14/inappropriate-behavior/comment-page-1/#comment-4797 Les Sat, 14 Nov 2009 21:56:37 +0000 http://somuchmorethanamom.com/?p=2942#comment-4797 I doubt there's more than a handful of women out there that didn't do some stupid teenage girl thing at one time or another. I've got quite a few to cringe about. But...hopefully we learn and grow from these situations and become super awesome women (like I know we are!). I doubt there’s more than a handful of women out there that didn’t do some stupid teenage girl thing at one time or another. I’ve got quite a few to cringe about. But…hopefully we learn and grow from these situations and become super awesome women (like I know we are!).

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