I See Crazy People
“Charisma is the numinous aura around a narcissistic personality. It flows outward from a simplicity or unity of being and a composure and controlled vitality. There is gracious accommodation, yet commanding impersonality. Charisma is the radiance produced by the interaction of male and female elements in a gifted personality. The charismatic woman has a masculine force and severity. The charismatic man has an entrancing female beauty. Both are hot and cold, glowing with presexual self love.” — Camille Paglia
I’d like to preface this post by stating that only a qualified professional can actually diagnose narcissistic personality disorder or any other disorder for that matter. Having said that, I believe that I have known several people who would most likely be diagnosed with NPD or at the very least, exhibit several of the diagnostic criteria. This belief has been confirmed by speaking with qualified professionals about the behaviors of these individuals along with extensive studying and research on my part. I am not a qualified professional myself.
Based on what I know, I can recognize red flags and possible narcissistic traits fairly quickly these days. That’s good for me because it used to be way too easy to get sucked into their BS before I became aware of their tactics.
Now that I am aware, I can spot them a mile away, and let me tell you, they are everywhere. To clarify, I’m sure not all of them would be diagnosed with full blown NPD. However, there are a lot of people with enough significant traits to be considered narcissists and worthy of avoidance whenever possible.
I know of one person who I am 99.9% sure would be diagnosed with full-blown NPD if he would ever set foot in a therapist’s office for even one session and speak honestly. Of course, that is an unthinkable scenario for a narcissist so it will never happen.
Others I know have enough traits to raise several red flags for me and I avoid them like the plague when possible, or at least keep as much distance as possible.
I was recently listening to an acquaintence tell all that went on during her marriage, divorce and the aftermath. Her ex’s behavior sounded like that of a textbook narcissist. I asked if their marriage counselor had ever suggested that he may be one. She said no but that she had done her own research and believes that he is one too. I asked tons of questions. The answers were always yes. She was astounded that I could have him pegged so perfectly when I’ve never met him. It’s not a gift on my part, it’s that she was right and he is a narcissist. He fit all the usual behaviors. They think they’re so special and interesting when in fact, they are life-suckingly dull and boring in their strikingly similar repetitive patterns.
When I’ve said this to friends or family…that they are everywhere….I’ve gotten strange looks or been told that I am paranoid. I’ve considered that possibility and have been able to rule it out. For one thing, guess what the number one search engine term (by far) leading people to my blog is. That’s right, it’s, “narcissists” or a phrase containing that word.
Some other opinions on this:
Malignant narcissists are everywhere. 1 to 3 of every 20 people you meet are malignant narcissists.
It’s All About Him: How to Identify and Avoid the Narcissist Male
…6 percent of Americans, or 1 out of 16, had experienced [clinical narcissistic personality disorder (NPD)] at some point in their lives…
- Narcissism Epidemic: Why There Are So Many Narcissists Now
Thanks for stopping by!
Are you paranoid Cyndi? I kind of am. Also, I think I am a magnet for attracting narcissist’s. And I want to know why.
Nope. I have ruled out the possibility that I’m paranoid and concluded that there are a lot of them walking amongst us. I feel lucky that I can spot them fairly quickly these days.
Just another reason I am afraid of therapy…ahahaha
It’s a GOOD thing to be able to spot people who aren’t good for you BEFORE you get sucked in, silly!
I was thinking about me! What if the therapist says “YOU’RE EVIL” ahahahah
You are so NOT evil!!! I would be able to tell, remember?
i talked to my counselor about my mom being bpd and my family dynamic. she mentioned that a lot of times, a narcissist will marry someone with bpd and that it’s a BAD combination! hehe. luckily my dad isn’t a narcissist.
also, i had a counselor describe my male stalker as a narcissist when i described some of his behavior to her.
i think all-types-of-crazy are attracted to me & vice versa. TGFC – Thank Goodness For Counseling !!! lol
Amen to that!!
It is very interesting. There are many who are narsacistic, no doubt. Most major compaines are run by narcissists. It would be interesting to see how many are in main stream politics.
No kidding! We’d have fewer wars and corporate shenanigans without them.
You know, Cyndi, I agree there are a lot of people out there with narcissistic traits. I don’t think I actually realized the term for them before I started reading your blog (except for one extreme narcissist on one of the Law and Order episodes). I just thought maybe there were a lot of self-centered brats out there who had been spoiled by their parents and now only gave a crap about themselves.
I wonder if there are more true narcissists out there now than there used to be, or if our culture nowadays just creates more self-centered jerks. Either way, people like that bug the crap out of me.
So, I have a boss that is classic N, who can only see N traits in her Mother. ….. It’s not my place to tell her that she is just like her mother is it?
Probably not the best idea if you want to keep your job.