Back To Me
“The better you learn to take care of yourself, the less you settle for being around people who can’t or won’t treat you as well as you’re accustomed.” — Curtis Sittenfeld
I learned the lesson contained in this quote about a year and a half ago. It took 38 years of focusing on taking care of as many things for other people as I could to learn this lesson. I know it is the absolute truth. And yet it seems I have forgotten it somewhere along the way.
I haven’t fallen back into my old people pleasing codependent ways by any stretch of the imagination. I have just gotten caught up in the business of life and have become less than vigilant about taking care of myself. I’ve fallen into a rut. I’m certain it is mostly because my once troubled marriage is back on the right track and I have a job that I like (and hope to keep). I’ve grown complacent and as a result, neglectful of myself.
I stopped working out regularly when I first became unemployed and we canceled our fabulous gym membership as a result of necessary cutbacks. Yes, I loved that gym but the truth is that it’s just an excuse. There are several other significantly less expensive ways for me to get in a daily workout.
I haven’t completed a book in over two months. Reading is one of my favorite things ever! Part of this is because in the summer, there’s a lot more to do so less time to read.
I haven’t spent very much time alone since early in the summer when hubby took the boys camping for a weekend. I used to make certain I got enough alone time each week. Sometimes that meant entire weekends, other times just a few hours hanging out in a bookstore. I can’t even remember the last time I set foot in a bookstore or spent even a few house completely alone.
I used to be an avid obsessed scrapbooker. I stopped completely about two years ago, when hubby and I were having serious problems. I found I couldn’t focus on it. To date, I’ve not gotten back into it at all and I miss it.
I don’t spend enough time with any of my friends. I have several groups of friends and individuals with whom I used to spend much more time than I do now. I love and need my friends. I miss them.
I wasn’t able to register for classes during the summer or fall semesters, again due to finances. I miss school more than any of the other things I’ve been neglecting. I feel as if my goal is slipping away and I have got to get back in for the winter semester.
This all came to my attention during an intense conversation I had last week (I discovered even more disturbing revelations during the same conversation but that’s a post all on it’s own). Why have I stopped doing so many of the things that I need to do? It’s the overall theme of this blog for f—’s sake! I’ve wasted precious time doing things I don’t really want to do, procrastinating, worrying and indulging in mindless distractions.
Many of the things I have been neglecting to do for myself can be done together and/or make the other things easier to fit in. When I’m working out on a regular basis I feel better about myself, it relieves stress, provides alone time and increases my energy. This would allow me to be less stressed, worry less and provide more stamina to get to other things. Scrapbooking is a fun and creative thing that I do for myself and my kids, but also would allow me to spend more time with my friend who also scrapbook.
I need to trim the fat, and not just in my diet. I need to stop spending time doing things that are of no value or that are actually of negative value. Back to basics. This next week will be spent in serious evaluation of virtually everything I do every day in order to trim that fat and get back to me.
Thanks for stopping by!
ok, we better extend that road trip a couple more days to schedule time for scrapbooking. I have a closet full of scrapbooking gear which has not been touched in nearly 5 years. LOL
Ok, I’m liking that a few of you are lapsed scrapbookers too. Once again, I thought I was the only one!
I’m with you here. I’m getting a few more things done now that the boys are back to college, but really nowhere close to where I should be! I find that damn Freecell to be a huge, time-wasting distraction that I indulge in when I’m sitting at the computer and want to procrastinate doing more productive things!
Facebook and Twitter have probably contributed to at least 4 years of my life that I’ll never get back.
Reminded me to do a lot of “I” management. Thanks Cindy, wishing you all the luck n fun, trimming the fat. Keep at it, one at a time, you would find it very rewarding.
i think i wrote this post myself! i haven’t scrapbooked since my oldest son’s first bday. that means i am 6 years behind. i have a list a mile long of all the things i want to do. and what do i do in my free time at night? watch episode after episode of prison break. wtf?
so i am rooting you on and challenging myself. we must grab life by the balls. right dawn?
I definitely think there are transitional phases to every mother and how we spend our time. GREAT post reminding me — again — to find places in the day to do what I enjoy. How lucky I am satisfying myself right now at your blog
Ok, my mind’s in the gutter today since my first thought was that telling me you are satisfying yourself right now at my blog was WAY too much information!!
How funny, I always notice that I’m slacking on my me time when I haven’t finished a book too! I just got a notice from the library yesterday that my book is due back soon – that means I’ve had it for 3 weeks and I’m only on page 49!!
You better get crackin’ or the library police will be on your ass!
Yes Consuella, we MUST grab the balls in this life. Absolutely!
I hear you! Since I’ve been working (albeit part time), my scrapbooking has seriously fallen by the wayside. My reading has decreased too. I find that I’m too tired to actually pick up a book. Unfortunately, I keep buying them! Is there such a thing as “Book Buyers Anonymous”?
If there is a BBA, I do NOT want to know about it!! I do the same thing you do but have no desire to stop, ever!
Once again, we are on the same brain wave. I’ve been thinking about this topic a lot lately as well. Good luck to you in rediscovering the things that make you happy!
Thanks Jess! I have made some progress today… 1/2 hour walk ALONE = exercise + alone time. I’m trying to multi task as well as cut out the crap I just don’t need or even want to do!
Awareness will take you 90% of the way, the rest is action! Go do it, love you in every way possible! Shower yourself with love!
Oh, no, no, no … satisfying myself here taken out of context, but gave me a smile. 30 minute walks, drinking lots of water, and even orgasms serve to increase serotonin … in addition to ‘pleasing’ one self through enjoyable activities.
Some times being happy means doing nothing. Go figure that
I know that wasn’t what you intended, just my twisted mind at work!
Hi Cyndi, I loved reading ‘about me’ because it sounds very similar to me….two boys, working out, i do have a psych degree, am laid off, just everything….keep up the good work, reading your blog made my day and inspired me to get back on track…..
Welcome, and thank you!