Tweens In Da House
“And although I broke a lot of laws as a teenager, I straightened out immediately upon turning eighteen, when I realized the state had a legal right to execute me.” — George Carlin
It’s official. My eleven year old son is a tween
I pressed play on the answering machine and there it was. The one thing I’ve been dreading almost since the day he was born. Some floozy very nice girl from my son’s class last year left him a voice mail to call her. She rambled a bit about how she wanted to see what classes he was in and if he had any other phone numbers. I believe she was looking for his cell phone number but he thought she was looking for other kids’ numbers so she could call them.
He’s such a guy! Since he believed that she was calling him just to get other phone numbers and not to talk to him, and he doesn’t “like her like her”, he didn’t feel like calling her back. So, he didn’t. That was that.
First of all, when I was eleven, I would never have called a boy under any circumstances. I know I’m dating myself with that statement. It had more to do with my own extreme shyness and fear of rejection than any outdated notion that girls aren’t supposed to call boys. Secondly, how typical of a guy is my son’s behavior?! The first time a girl calls him ever and it’s no big deal. He didn’t give it another thought.
She called back. Again, something I never would have done. Even if I had somehow mustered up the courage to call the first time, I would have been too devastated and mortified to even consider calling again. This time it was clear that she did want to talk to him. This time he called her back. He still doesn’t like her like her but clearly likes the idea of her liking him.
And so it begins.
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Sweet stuff. I just smile. My son Joe was fourteen when he was admired by a girl who admired other boys too. He didn’t take it as a compliment she was vying for his attention too. Maybe your son knows something more.
My daughter, at the age of 12. No boys her age have called, but older ones have. She has a cell phone and slips into the bathroom.
Mind you, she’s never out of my sight and understands that dating is something for adults. No harm in talking on the phone and being friends with boys at school, at the roller rink or sharing in a movie with a group of friends … with her mother in the back row.
I have the feeling I will be seriously tested as she sees her peers testing the waters in the years to come.
I feel for you…this is one reason I’m thankful I don’t have girls. I don’t think hubby would let them out of the house until they were 30.
Why can’t they stay 7 forever?
Oh wow!!! The first time I called a boy (and DIDN’T hang up) I believe I was 14. My heart was pounding out of my chest and I’m pretty sure I was bright red on my end of the phone. I was also holed up in my room with the door closed and my pillow trying to muffle the crack along the bottom so my parents and little brother couldn’t hear I was on the phone with A BOY.
That pretty much sums up how I was too!
Yes, and so it begins! Be the guide for him on this journey. Gentle love and encouragement and plenty of the female veiwpoint will help in many ways.
i am so grateful that my son, almost 12, and my daughter, almost 15, have not yet expressed significant interest — yet. my son, definitely not — they would have to measure up to his sister, who he adores, and of course all the girls he knows are “weird” or “mean” or “obnoxious”. he can’t even stand to sit next to one. he’s a guy’s guy so far. and that’s okay with me.
i know my daughter has tested the waters — i only know of a couple of the boys. a movie here, a visit to a friend’s house to swim (with the friend’s mom hanging by the pool). lots of texting and FB (thank god i am still her friend on FB). but she has pretty high standards — they would have to be really smart, and measure up to her brother, who worships her and who is really, really funny. she told me most boys are afraid of her at this time — i believe it — i told her i raised her that way
i am so lucky. the mutual adoration is making a huge difference. and i sure am glad my phone isn’t ringing yet
For every one of my boys, it was always the girls that called them. And it started in middle school. What’s up with that? It’s kind of cool in a way that girls feel free to take the initiative, but they start so darn YOUNG. Of course we women mature so much faster, and the poor guys never do catch up!
Eleven? Like you, the thought of calling a guy never occurred to me at that age. Mind you, I was still pretty awkward (shortest kid in the class and glasses to boot). But, they certainly grow up quick!
So it begins indeed. Hang on!