Finding Enough Happiness To Face The Past
“As a child, I survived by forgetting. Later, the amnesia became a problem as large as the one it was meant to conceal. However, I did not remember my past until the homemade bomb was defused, until the evil was contained, until I was stable enough and happy enough that sorrow or anger or regret or pain was overwhelmed by joy at my release. To reach this state, I needed the help of friends and healers. This I had in abundance.” — Sylvia Fraser
I don’t know how I missed this quote until now. This sums up my childhood and current situation perfectly.
I’ve wondered for some time what triggered my recent recollections and subsequent pain, anger and resentment about my childhood. I’d always thought that once I got out of there, it was over. I realized recently that was far from the case but I wasn’t sure why.
Here it is in black and white. I’m safe enough now. I’ve come to a point in my present life where I am happy enough, comfortable enough to be able to look back and face the secrets, memories and feelings I had been so afraid of before.
This is comforting to me. No matter how anxious or depressed I sometimes feel, it’s yet another sign that I’m headed in the right direction. I’m extremely lucky to have the help of my own friends and healers. You know who you are. Thank you.
Thanks for stopping by!
Yay for moving on! Bigger and better things await.
I almost cried while reading this post *sigh* I’ve been having a hard time today and surely after reading this. I find comfort in knowing I’m not the only one out there struggling to be happy enough now to face my past.
Thank you Cyndi
I’m so sorry. Your blog always seems so cheerful! Thank YOU!
**hugs**
thanks for that quote. i needed to read it. i just had my first counseling session yesterday. that quote describes perfectly where i am…
It gets better. I promise. That first appointment is so bizarre.
I’m thrilled to have stumbled onto your blog. I’ve been reading for hours, absorbing the words. Ea. one describes me. Feels good to know what I’m experiencing is normal, and healthy. This quote especially helpd me. Thank you. Jo Ann
I’m thrilled to hear that and to meet you! Thank you so much. I’ll check out your blog later too….
Sweet. I needed some wind in my sails. Thank you for being.
my painful past has come sailing out these past 2 weeks and i’m not entirely sure why. they’re things i’ve worked on in counseling and have successfully dealt with. while i realize these things will come to light and trigger me at times, i’m not sure why everything is vomiting in my mind at once.
I don’t know what’s worse, the memories and feelings or the not understanding why.