A Bad Bad Thing
“Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.” – Airplane!
I was having writer’s block which almost never happens. The last time it happened I determined it was because I was feeling guilty about bashing Best Buy but then not immediately writing about the resolution. In light of that, I realized that when I have writer’s block, it’s because I’m not writing about something that I need to write about.
Having said that, the “thing” that I haven’t written about is that I fell off the wagon. I smoked. I stayed away from drinking intentionally because that is a major smoking trigger for me. However, on Monday, at a family barbecue, after feeling depressed the day before, happy that hubby was home and having a good time, I drank. I didn’t drink a lot but enough to throw caution to the wind and have a cigarette. That led to another, and another. You smokers know exactly how that goes.
In hindsight, I should not have chosen to quit the Friday before I re-entered the workforce after a year off, but when I chose the date I didn’t know I had a job.
Anyway, no excuses. I caved. I’m not going to beat myself up over it. I’m going to re-group now that I’m not feeling so depressed, read horrible stories about smoking related illnesses and try again. I went 10 days without a single drag. I can do this dammit! I’ll keep you posted.
Thanks for stopping by!
Well, if it makes you feel better, I’ve been eating like a pig and haven’t exercised in about a week. So you’re not the only one caving in to your demons. Why does being healthy have to be so dang hard??
hmmm…writers block= guilt…you may be on to something. Get ready DSM for a new entry. Quit beating yourself up, there are plenty of people who would line up to do it for you. Today is a new day. Your resolve is back. Let it go and just breathe.
Do you need me to send you gum? XO
I stayed away from my blog awhile in Jan. and it was b/c my grandmother had passed away. I didn’t feel right diving in without explaining that first, but I also didn’t want to address that yet – so I got “writer’s block.”
Not to say that a death in the family equates smoking — but just trying to say that I understand the guilt and avoidance of writing. I’m glad you feel open enough with us to tell the dirty little secret. It’s actually making me feel a tad bit more proud of you that you feel it was wrong and are going to hop right back up on that horse!!
“It’s a brand new day”…there’s nothing like a little Celion Dion to cheer you up! lOL!
so you fell. it is done. get up. dust off your knees and get back on that damn horse! don’t you love internet accountability;) we are behind you! and kudos for being honest.
not ideal, but don’t beat yourself up about it! have you tried using any of the stop smoking aids (like nicorette)? they really do work, and help get you past the smoking habit part while remaining relatively calm… then you just need to wean to regular gum or off of gum…
good luck. i feel for you with this job. my second job out of college was awfully dull, ick, ick, ick, and was the drop in the bucket that made me go to grad school (good decision, bad decision, who knows). but i remember being there and feeling like i was being slowly driven out of my mind with boredom….
So you gave up beer and chocolate too? Oh my! How I love your tenacity and transparent heart. Love it.
Don’t feel bad, girl. I’ve been drinking too much wine (my admission) and not putting out enough (obviously, my husband’s opinion).
I’m so sorry about your grandmother. Isn’t it weird how some things just have to come out before we can write about something else? My dirty little secret….sounds a lot naughtier and more fun than it actually is!
Thanks for your support!
LOL – I could probably add an entire section to the DSM! Thanks!
I really don’t understand why chocolate, beer and cigarettes can’t make you lose weight, look younger and have low cholestoral. Damn demons.
You crack me up with your goofy music quotes!
I do love internet accountability. I also loved how I just hit, “publish” and walked away. I didn’t have to see any disapproving looks or hear any recriminations.
Thank you!
No, I’ve tried the patch and gum and it didn’t work. I read that the physical withdrawal is over by the 4th day anyway. Not true? For me, it’s definitely the psychological habit…and beer.
Don’t the two usually go together?