Helpful Hints For Mother's Day Gifts
“Now the thing about having a baby – and I can’t be the first person to have noticed this – is that thereafter you have it.” – Jean Kerr
As has been well documented here, I have come to loathe Mother’s Day. I won’t blather on about why again. If you like you can read about that here, here, here and here. I told you it’s been well documented.
Yes, I know, you never stop being a mom. However, I believe that there is a HUGE difference between having children still dependent on and living with you and having grown children who are out on their own. When I say, “current moms”, I am talking about those that still have children at home.
I have talked with countless current moms, both online and in real life, about what they want for Mother’s Day. The answer is UNANIMOUS. I’m not exaggerating. They all say exactly the same thing. Most of them are afraid to admit it to their loving families and/or afraid to rock the obligatory boat of honoring their own mothers and mothers-in-law. The answer? A DAY TO THEMSELVES.
[polldaddy poll=1607179]
This does not shock me. This is exactly how I feel. Some would like a day at the spa, or even a trip. Others just want one day, alone in their own homes, when they can read, take a long bath, watch bad reality tv, dork out on the internet, or whatever their hearts desire, without anyone else around.
Most feel guilty for feeling this way and will never admit it to anyone else. They feel comfortable admitting it to me because I have been so public about my disdain for the traditions expected of us current moms on “our” day.
They love their kids. They love their moms and their mothers-in-law (well, in most cases). They just want need a little break. A little alone time. A little piece of the year in which they can indulge themselves and remember that they are also women, not just chauffeurs, boo-boo kissers, nose-wipers and diaper-changers.
So, dads, husbands, fathers, friends…..my hint for a Mother’s Day Gift is give her a day! Don’t take it personally. It has nothing to do with you or the kids. It’s about her. Flowers are sweet. Brunch tastes good. Give those to her some other random day of the year to show your appreciation. But Mother’s Day….GET OUT AND LEAVE HER ALONE (even if especially if she swears she would much rather spend the day with your mother)! 
Thanks for stopping by and Happy Mother’s Day!
I’m not a mom yet, but I know my answer would be a day to myself. Since moving in w/ Johnny we’re sucked into this huge Sunday hangout at his parents’ house. We do this every Sunday, but I just find it kind of odd that it’s like REQUIRED b/c she’s the mom – the daughter in laws and her daughter are ALSO mom’s – why is their day still all about her?????
I like the little poll you conducted.. that’s a neat little gadget. I kind of agree, but I also kind of lean the other way too. I love spending Mother’s Day with my family, but my ideal day is when someone else does all the work, i.e. prepares the meals, does the necesary chores, etc. etc. I truly enjoy the loving attention my kiddos give me on that day (they get so excited still:)), but I also like to have a little “me” time as well. That being said… I also can totally understand those who want a day totally to themselves– I certainly wouldn’t turn it down, LOL!
i plan on passing the torch to my kids on mother’s day when they become parents themselves — my first mother’s day was spent following my mother-in-law around these botanical gardens (not my thing AT ALL). and every year after that it was about his mother, never about me. boy, was i pissed!
my kids are growing up way too fast, and their schedules are busier and busier and they are rarely home. what i want is a day with my kids, with no other demands pulling their attention away from time together. before i know it they will be off to college, and i will get a phone call and no time.
being a mom is the best thing about my life! i don’t want them to leave me alone at all.
I have a potential solution. There should be Mothers Day Eve Day. That is the day for you-all about whatever you personally want to do-sit alone in a closet, out in a lounge chair or recharging the batteries in whatever manner you desire! Then Mothers Day would perhaps be a more welcome gathering-still what you want, but integrating those that call you Mother into the action.
Enjoy your day, Cyndi, and thanks for all your thought provoking posts!
I always felt bad for my mum when I was a kid. Somehow I knew chocolates and even flowers weren’t makin her any more relaxed or refreshed!
I’m so glad my daughter knows me well. She asked if I wanted her to take me out for brunch on Mother’s Day but I was honest and told her no that I would much rather stay home all day and scrapbook (which I did). I saw her the previous Sunday and Wednesday before Mother’s Day so I was in no great need to see her. I did tell her she could come over and clean my house but she declined
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You are preaching to the choir sister! I don’t get it either.
Have a great day with your kids!
thanks — i hope you get what you need today — a break!!!
I can’t say that I blame her!! And you are both lucky that you have such a good relationship that you can be honest and no one’s feelings are hurt.