I'm Quitting
“As smoking is to the lungs, so is resentment to the soul; even one puff is bad for you.” – Elizabeth Gilbert
I’m quitting smoking. May 15th.
I’ve been seriously considering quitting for some time now. Like any addict, I haven’t disclosed this information to anyone in order to keep that door open in case I change my mind. For those of you who have never smoked, this sounds ridiculous, and it is. The fact remains that if I tell anyone I’m quitting and then fail to do so, I’m forced to explain myself and deal with the embarrassment of publicly failing, or hide my habit like any other type of addict.
I’ve been down this road many times in my life. I’ve hidden my attempts at quitting, hidden my smoking and then eventually just given in and gone right back to smoking all the time.
I’ve made excuses for, and rationalized my irrational behaviors for years. The last time I quit for any length of time lasted just a few months. I went public with it and did pretty well at first. Then I convinced myself that I was over it and the bargaining started. I can have just one. I’ll just have one to test myself and make sure I’m over it. I probably won’t even like it anymore. Bullshit. That one led to another and then shortly, back to a pack a day.
I won’t go into all the health reasons to quit. We all know what those are. The financial reasons are equally apparent.
My mother has been a 3 pack a day (possibly more, I’m not really sure) smoker for as long as I can remember. She’s had a few health scares in recent years and those are usually what prompts me to think about quitting. As soon as she has recovered, and started smoking again herself, I convince myself that I must have invincible genes and forget about quitting. Also bullshit, we’ve both just been lucky. She had another such scare yesterday. It turned out to be nothing….this time. I don’t want to have scares like that. I don’t want to be my own worst enemy anymore.
Most importantly, I don’t want to leave my kids motherless or set a bad example for them. It is well documented that children learn by example, not by what they are told. Me telling them that they can’t smoke when they grow up because it’s bad for them, while puffing away myself, is ineffective parenting.
What better day to stop smoking than the day Gina and I leave for our trip? It’s about two weeks away so that gives me plenty of time to get used to the idea and talk myself into a real commitment. I can’t smoke in the airport or anywhere else indoors for that matter. I can’t smoke while getting a massage or facial. I can’t smoke around Gina. It will be difficult for me to smoke at all that weekend. It will also be a stress-free, relaxing environment away from my usual routines and habits. They say the first three days are the toughest and I’ll get those under my belt while on a fabulous vacation with my friend.
I’m so doing it this time.
If anyone reading has quit, please comment here with your story…how you quit, when, etc. I’m sure I’ll need to refer back here from time to time to keep my resolve.
Thanks for stopping by!
I cannot express how you just made me feel! Your an excellent writer and your decision to quit is the best news I’ve heard in months! You know my thoughts on smoking and how I lost both my parents because of it and as you put it, please don’t leave your children motherless! It sucks at any age! Believe me smoking will do it!!!!
I’m your friend and I’m supporting you 100% If you need anything please let me know!
Motherless and fatherless,
Pam Schindlbeck
My hubby Jeff smoked for over 10 years, and has now been smokie treat free for well, about 9 years. He said that the first couple of weeks he kept it to himself because when he had attempted quitting before, everytime he was out w/ friends or at work etc…people would always bring it up. Like, “how’s the not smoking going?” And of course that would make him starting “thinking” about it…smoke, smoking, cigarette, gotta have one! Now! The other thing that helped him was that he changed his habits that included smoking. We all have “routines” we get into, morning routines, lunch routines…smoke break routines bla bla..So in place of his regular smoke breaks, he would plan something else and stick to it…even something as simple as reading a book. He also stopped drinking for a month or so. Again, another habit that REALLY included smoking. Of course it was hard at first, but got easier for him over time. Eventually he was able to return to some of his old habits (like enjoying a frosty beverage) without the smoke. Best of luck!
Good luck to you, Cyndi. I’ve been able to smoke occasionally and never got hooked; however, when I saw my dad sneak down to the hospital lounge to light one up, with a collapsed lung and lung cancer diagnosis, I knew how powerful the addiction must be for some people. You seem to be a strong person; I’m betting you can beat this!
Good for you!
My father smoked for a gazillion years before finally quitting cold turkey about 15 years ago. Now, he can’t stand the smell.
My hubby smoked for nearly twenty years before quitting. His mother’s recent cancer diagnosis and our son’s birth finally gave him the impetus to stop. He needed the help of medication though since cutting down and stopping altogether didn’t work. He’s been smoke-free for 3 months now!
I just quit 2 months ago, so I can definitely feel your pain.
I started smoking in my early teens and smoked until I was 21 then I quit for 7 years and began smoking again on 9-11.
My father died in June of Lung Cancer (he quit 15 years ago) and believe it or not I picked up smoking again after my fourth child. But then, I became panicky for the same reasons you mentioned (not wanting to leave my kids etc.) I swallowed my pride and called the dr (who didn’t even know I smoked) and asked for an rx for Chantix. It worked very well for me and I will be hitting 2 mos. I will always be tempted and know that smoking is my demon for sure. But, I am hoping this time it will stick.
Good Luck, you can do it!
Hi Cyndi,
I saw your post from twitter. My husband smoked for 40 years and did not want to quit. He is one of those smokers that really enjoys smoking. He did cut down to about 5 cigs a day but…he was still poisoning his system. I am a hypnotherapist and I kept telling him that I could help him but he wouldn’t believe me…or just didn’t want to quit cause like I said he enjoyed it. Well just after Christmas he was diagnosed with COPD and the doc told him if he didn’t quit he would only have another 5 – 10 yrs of quality life…whatever that meant. Well, needless to say it scared him and he asked me help him. We did one session and he hasn’t smoked since. Even I thought it would take more than one hypnosis session…but it only took one. He has been smoke free since just before his 54th birthday in January and no weight gain. My advice to you is just to have a plan, look at all the options. Please let me know if I can help you on your journey. Email me or find me on twitter. Wishing you all the best on your journey through life. Nancy @energizespirit
Good luck, hon, I too have been on this carousel ride more times than I care to admit.
Good luck, hon, I too have been on this carousel ride more times than I care to admit.
Good luck, hon, I too have been on this carousel ride more times than I care to admit.
Good luck, hon, I too have been on this carousel ride more times than I care to admit.
I used to smoke and honestly, the way that I quit was by making a deal with my now-husband (then-boyfriend). It was the very beginning of our relationship so we were still in that hot-and-heavy stage; I was a vegetarian and a smoker, and he was an omnivore and a non-smoker. I said I wouldn’t kiss him after he ate meat and he said he wouldn’t kiss me after I’d smoked. That was over 6 years ago and I haven’t smoked once since then. (It really helped, too, to drink a glass of water everytime I got that craving taste in my mouth, like it was washing the flavor of craved nicotine out.
But I do still dream about smoking (literally and figuratively). I don’t think that ever goes away. You just have to keep reminding yourself why you did it. Plus, once you’ve quit, and your senses of smell and taste (plus your love of clean air going into your lungs!) come back strong, you realize just how nasty cigarettes really are for the people around the smoker.
Good luck!
you go girl! you can do it. don’t tell yourself otherwise. my grandpa died because of smoking. my mom almost did and her week long stay in the hospital convinced her that she had to stop. after almost 40 years of smoking, she quit. it will be hard, maybe seem impossible at times, but you can do it! we are behind you!
Let the strength you have within shine
To keep your word true and fine
You could do it!
Smart move. I’m inspired. I’m a smoker whose quit five times. This time is such a HELL ride. I’ve cut down BIG in the last three months but going one full day I have not reached yet.
The vacation with a girlfriend sounds like the perfect recipe. Riding the waves of nicotine withdrawal for those first days … one needs a buddy! My friend (a non-smoker) has agreed to leave town with me for a three day weekend and I have not tested the efficacy. (Little does she know it may get scary, like the Exorcist!) I want to smell fresh and nice again.
Hypnosis sounds COOL. I think I ought to check that out. After that, maybe brain surgery.
LOVE THE POST!
You can do it Cyndi! If I can quit smoking (4+ packs a day for over 20 years you can do it). I am a stubborn woman and when I finally decided I would never smoke again I took off a week from work and while it was utter hell (getting butts out of car ash trays and searching my back yard for smokable butts) by the time that week was over I never again smoked a cigarette (and honestly never wanted one after a few months). Even if they found out that smoking is not bad for your health I wouldn’t start smoking again (even if I was rich and money not an option). You need to think of yourself as a non-smoker and live that. You can do it!
It will be the best thing that you could ever do I am so glad I quit and believe it or not it was far easier than I thought it would ever be. I wish you well.
Oh girl.. I so need to hop on this bandwagon with you. Kudos to you for making this huge change. I’ve quit before as well, but fall back into the sheer routine of it. I have (proudly) cut back a lot over the last two years, but wow… summertime is hard for me. There’s just something about sitting on the patio with a cold beer & a cigarette. I’m really proud of you– keep us posted on how it goes. I need to borrow some of your motivation!
Thanks Pam! I do know that you lost both of your parents because of smoking and I’m sorry. You’re right, I don’t want to do that to my kids at any age.
Thank you Shannon! I had no idea that Jeff used to smoke. You are right about the habits. When I get in the car, I light up. It’s just what I do. It will be tough but certainly easier than carting around an oxygen tank.
Thank you. I’m so jealous of you people who can smoke occassionally.
I know, summertime is the worst. I’m a big fan of the patio party. One week from tomorrow…