Back From The Dark Side
“Don’t underestimate the Force.” – Darth Vader
Wow. I’ve spent the better part of this week in the mind of the narcissist. It is not a good place to spend time. At all. It’s confusing and painful and terrifying. It had to be done. I had to face it and get it out.
I mentioned at the beginning of the first post that I once thought hubby was a narcissist. I’d like to elaborate. We all have some of the traits attributed to narcissists from time to time. The differences are that the true narcissist embodies many or all of the traits consistently throughout their life and will go to their grave denying that they ever need to change anything.
When I first started making changes for myself and insisting on certain changes in my marriage, hubby was resistant. That’s when he exhibited some of these behaviors. Because they looked and felt familiar, I was afraid I had married my father and had been fooled by hubby’s normally non-narcissistic-appearing personality. Luckily, I was wrong.
He is just your garden-variety average person who has some baggage. He was resistant to the changes I was making because, well, no one likes change, and I tapped into some of his unresolved issues.
He was able to make significant changes. He went from a place of absolute denial to almost complete transformation. He recognized and was able to admit those behaviors and choices that were not good. It isn’t fun to acknowledge when you’ve behaved badly but he’s done that. He has also become my biggest supporter and is always here for me.
This week, as I spent most of my days in Crazytown (the mind of the narcissist), I called him at work for reality checks. He was so understanding and helpful. He’s off work today and we’re going to hang out together. I’m looking forward to it, especially after my week on the dark side. It’s good to be back.
On a side note, someone found my blog today using this search term: “buddhist bitch”! Made me laugh. 
Thanks for stopping by and have a nice weekend!
Have a great time!
Why would someone be searching for a Buddhist bitch?????
That’s a good one.
I know what you mean. I worry about that sometimes too. But you and I didn’t escape those people so that we could run into the arms of another, and I believe it is a strength that we can examine the people in our lives this way in order to make sure that it’s NOT happening to us again. Especially since, if it is, we know the only choice is to leave and we are prepared to take it.
But I’m glad, too, that your husband isn’t like that and that you have figured that out. I’m glad he is someone who you can turn to when you turn away from the ugly things you’ve seen and known. He sounds like a wonderful guy, and you’re both very lucky to have each other.
just posted my “i dated a narcissist” post!
http://www.shebecameabutterfly.net/?p=2694
I know, that’s what made me laugh! Thank you.
Oooohhh…..on my way….