What The Hell Was I Doing In A Temple
“You talk to God, you’re religious. God talks to you, you’re psychotic.” – Doris Egan
As I’ve mentioned before, I am not a “religious person”. I am not affiliated with any organized religion. I would call myself an Agnostic. I do believe in some sort of higher power, I’m just not certain exactly who or what that higher power is.
I have not had any experiences with any Christian church that have impressed me or spoken to me in any way. I have particular disdain for the Catholic Church, mostly due to their cover-up of pedophile priests, but there are many other hypocrisies that have turned me off.
I have, however, always been extremely curious about religion and faith. Whenever the subject comes up with any of my friends who have a strong faith, I bombard them with questions. I don’t have any friends whom I would consider extremists, but some are what I would call devout. I’ve often secretly wondered if they were simply brainwashed as children and never questioned what they were brought up to believe. I think what I’ve been looking for is some explanation as to why some people are so certain of their individual faith and what am I missing that makes me so incredibly skeptical of it all.
Knowing my position on organized religion, I thought it was funny that hubby expressed a little concern over me going to meditation class the other night. Actually, he didn’t express concern until I mentioned that I was intrigued by Buddhism, want to learn more about it, and may want to go to an actual service (if that’s what they even call it) at the temple sometime. He is cautiously supportive of this. He is somewhat worried that I may be brainwashed.
I can understand where he is coming from. We’ve all encountered individuals in our lives who we thought we knew well and then they became members of one religious organization or another and completely changed. Hubby and I know several people to whom this has happened. It does come across as a brainwashing because we don’t necessarily buy what they believe in and because they have changed so dramatically as a result.
I’ve assured him that isn’t possible for me. I am so cynical and have so many questions, it would be impossible for me to be brainwashed. I question everything, particularly when it comes to faith. I just can’t see myself ever blindly following anyone or any religion. In addition to that, one of the main tenents of Buddhism is moderation. The practice of non-extremism (a path of moderation away from the extremes of self-indulgence and self-mortification) is a foundation of the religion.
As I was meditating at the temple the other night, it occurred to me that I was in a church. Me. In a church. By my own choice. No one was getting married or baptized. It was almost surreal, particularly because it didn’t feel like any other church I’d ever been in. It felt casual, comfortable and peaceful. It also felt as if I had traveled to a foreign place. It piqued my curiosity and also scared me a little. I do want to learn more and may end up embracing this religion in some way. If I do, I hope no one thinks I’ve been brainwashed.
Thanks for stopping by!
Yay! I am still so thrilled that you had a good experience……I really expected you to walk out like, “That was a bunch of sh*t.” Or something characteristically synical. LOL
I LOVE how I sleep after that class. It’s as if I’ve taken 3 Vicodin but without the “hangover” the next day!
How was your anxiety yesterday?????
I have been waiting for this blog. It didn’t exactly turn out like I expected. While I was reading I felt like I was being called brain washed but I know when you wrote that you didn’t mean ill content toward any one. I have heard that and been called that before.I just have to say that the personal relationship I have with Jesus is real, it is not a religion… but non the less hard to understand for others that have not taken that leap of faith. My life with him since I have been saved has been change drastically due to the overwhelming feeling of love that I now have. I continue to pray for you and your family to make that connection. When you have excepted his grace there is no other religion or view that will turn you away for Jesus him self.
As a buddhist myself, I can tell you, you won’t be brain washed.
I think you will find the teachings very common sense.
Hi, I enjoy reading your posts. Very candid and true, you speak your mind. The picture of the altar and the temple looks equally superb!
Hope the meditation helps you more!
Cheers
Swapna
Oh I didn’t think you were calling me that. no offense taken. I was just saying I have heard that before(from my own husband)I understand that saying “I have a personal relationship with Jesus” is just plain weird to understand.
I still have a go at the Holly Rollers on the streets preaching Hell Fire and damn nation. It makes us other Born Agains look crazy! I would love to guest blog about my salvation. It is a long story that starts in my teens. I was a tough (angry) nut for God to crack.
To put is simply though I had to get rid of religion and see Jesus for who he really is and how much he really loves us.
I think I hear God calling you though.(I know crazy church lady here) You have so many things in your life that remind me of how I was in my life back in the day. That is why I added you to my prayer list. (don’t be offended) Like I have told you so many times before. We all need Jesus. The non-condemning loving Jesus!I wish more “Christians” took the time to explain what I mean here in a non-religious way.
Blessings
Rai
Lovely post – I wrote a similar (god how annoying is it when people say.. ooh, I wrote one like this…) post recently – it’s just such a similar topic.
I also (which is why it’s interesting I found your blog today) spent my day reading about the roles of women in a book I’m reading – it puts it so well!
Lovely blog!
You’re such a heavy roller. God made many great women and men, some greater than others, but from the same creator. I’ve studied many religions in my life, shopped all major religions, sat with the indians, spiritual gurus, and read the bible when I was thirty (from cover to cover) with a concordance. It took a year. I was ’saved’ once and it felt like my body had been turned upside down. I’ve always been on a quest. Anymore, when people ask me about my religion I tell them this: I’m a pedestrian. I’m favoring Hindus and Buddhists the most as of late.
Also, I like science. And I love that Stephen Hawking said, “The universal language speaks in just 92 naturally occurring elements and we are connected to the vast regions of space.” We are made of the same elements as stardust. Reminds me of a song that echoes in my memory:
I came upon a child of god
He was walking along the road
And I asked him, where are you going
And this he told me
I’m going on down to Yasgurs farm
I’m going to join in a rock n roll band
I’m going to camp out on the land
I’m going to try an get my soul free
We are stardust
We are golden
And we’ve got to get ourselves
Back to the garden
And today I think we owe it to ourselves to honor the stardust in each other.
I don’t think you’re brainwashed. It’s wonderful that you question everything. Big problems arise when you accept anything blindly.
All the best on your journey!
don’t worry about getting brainwashed. truth is that everyone practices a religion of some sort. even secularism is a religion. we all act out of what we believe. the thoughts, beliefs, fears or doubts that circulate in our head determines how we view the world and interact with it on any given day. we all practice faith even if that faith is in ourselves or humanity in general. it is still faith. what you may need to worry about, and i say this with a smile, is change. embracing faith changes you. that doesn’t mean you still won’t question or at times be skeptical but you can’t embrace something without it changing you. question is, who do you want to end up being?
You know where I stand on this issue and you DO know at least one brainwashed individual. Most people who follow Catholicism and such do so because that is how they were raised. Some grow up and start using common sense and realize how ridiculous, bigoted and narrow minded many religions are. Others find god because they don’t know where else to turn. I grew up in a non-religious family and my parents didn’t have one ounce of bigotry while my holy roller best friends parents (who went to church at least 3 times a week) made Archie Bunker look saintly. Even at a young age it made me realize which side made sense. My mother studied relgions and most closely identified with Buddhism. My problems is with the born agains who feel that since they have accepted Jesus Christ as their personal savior they are going to heaven no matter how they live their lives. Catholics can wipe away their sins with a few Hail Marys. Most religions seem to wipe out the conscience (in my opinion).
I am catholic and very comfortable in my religion. I don’t feel that in any way shape or form was I brainwashed as a child. I do appreciate that my family instilled good morals and values within my soul because of their religion. I know the catholic church has had its issues but my thought on that is-in every walk of life you will find a wolf trying to hide in sheep clothing. Unfortunately some priests took advantage of their position and did things that no person should ever consider doing let alone a priest. But to me, that does not mean there aren’t good priests trying to do what God intended them to do.
I have never tried to push my beliefs down another person’s throat and I respect all religions and admire anyone that believes in a higher power.
I have had enough situations and signs in my life to convince me that believing is worth it.
For me, religion is the platform that helps me be the best version of myself. I am by no means a perfect person but I feel better knowing that according to my religion, even the sinners can be saved because of the unselfishness of Jesus.
Good Luck in finding where you belong as far as spirituality.
I hope that all you wonderful ladies will not be offended by a man sitting by and watching you teach each other….hopefully the teachings will become part of my practice as a buddhist as well! The Middle Way is both pragmatic and problematic…rather than seeking a multitude of reasons for suffering, it seeks out methods to END this suffering (dukkha)….In the Bible we find a statement attributed to Cain, when God sought him out after he killed his brother Abel…He said “Am I my brothers keeper?”..and the answer of course..is a resounding YES
If anyone has any questions about the history of various buddhist practices…please feel free to email me any time.
This brainwashing phenomenon has bugged me for so long..and this is one argument I use when people of my faith tell me that I don’t know enough about the faith to make decisions and I should go talk to “Aalim” or “Muftis” (religious scholars). I say I’ll have the same effect if I go talk to a priest or a rabbi and will be “brainwashed” in very similar manner. The only thing that will sway my beliefs is whether I feel good about it or not.
But then we are so gullible that commercial marketing tactics can brainwash us to buy a $80 toothbrush and $300 handbag, so how is falling for religious beliefs any different (if it is marketed in a good way). Isn’t it all about how you feel about certain things or issues? There is no evidence or fact to prove whether one is wrong or the other is right.
You just go by how you feel about them.
I have my doubts about common sense also because it varies for each individual, each culture, each country. Somethings that seems common sense in some cultures are a taboo in others. For example dating, isn’t it common sense to get to know someone before you get married, or date a few people before you make your decision, don’t we do that when we hire someone or when we are out to buy something, “Trail”. However in my culture it is an absolute NO NO! You cannot date even if your life dependent on it.
So it all comes down to how we feel about certain believes. But no matter which one you choose to follow always keep this quote in mind
“I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong”
-Bertrand Russell
You bring up a lot of good points! People are “brainwashed” into worshiping things aren’t they? Money, houses, cars, possessions, even their own perfectly manicured lawns! Marketing brainwashes us into thinking we can’t be happy without all this crap. It starts early too. I vividly remember being appalled when my youngest son expressed a strong desire to go to Disney World at age 3. We limited his tv to kid-appropriate shows and never discussed Disney. He got it from commercials that we didn’t even notice were on!
I agree. So far, I like Buddhism because it feels right. I may change my mind completely at some point, who knows.
I can’t even imagine not having the freedom to date and choose your own spouse! You’re right, we wouldn’t even buy a new mattress without checking a few out first. However, isn’t the divorce rate for arranged marriages considerably lower than traditional American marriages? Maybe that’s just because divorce is also taboo? However, just because we get to choose doesn’t mean we actually use our heads when making that choice or for deciding to divorce for that matter. American’s tend to get all caught up in the exciting beginning phase of romantic relationships and when that inevitably wears off believe they have “fallen out of love”.
Thank you so much for your comments. And, of course, I love the quote!
Thanks for taking me! Yesterday, the usual afternoon anxiety was back, but maybe not as severe as usual.
I’m so happy you commented. And no, I was NOT calling you brainwashed. I’ve known you for years, never knew you before you took your leap of faith, and have learned a ton from you. I appreciate you allowing me to pick your brain all these years! The truth is that we know someone who was raised Catholic and a few years ago converted to another religion. The differences are astounding and after grilling him and his wife (as I do) it seems almost cult-like (which could just be their interpretation, their particular church or my perception). That’s who I had in mind when writing this post. I don’t get that feeling from you at all. I apologize if I offended. I respect everyone’s rights to their individual beliefs, even when they don’t match my own. Interested in writing a guest blog post explaining how you came to your faith or I could just “interview” you?
Oooohhh…I may have to ask you questions, lots of them.
Thanks so much!
LOL – I’m not offended and thanks for keeping me in your prayers. You’re definitely the funniest “crazy church lady” I know!
Thank you! That’s not annoying at all. Those of us who are thinking the same way tend to find each other on the interwebs.
Hmmm…which book? I read a LOT and this sounds like a book that I’d be very interested in. Maybe you mentioned it in your post. On my way to check it out….
Excellent question and excellent points.
Yes, I do know where you stand and I do know at least one person who seems to me to have been brainwashed. Yes, those are some of the reasons I don’t identify with Christianity on any level. I also don’t get the whole, “if you don’t believe the way we believe then you are wrong” mentality. Does that mean that all Buddhists/Muslims/Hindus/Jews are going to hell? I just can’t buy that. While I have no problem accepting others who believe differently, I don’t even believe the bible. The lessons are sometimes good ones but the stories sound so outrageous to me. Without proof, I don’t think I could ever believe the way so many do. Buddhism, to me, is so close to basic psychology, and not about extremism or any random “rules” that it seems much more relevant to me and my life. Who knows. But I definitely love the guided meditation class.
I really enjoyed my meditation classes and really should go back.
I’ll never forget Barb saying that growing up she was so afraid for her father. Barb grew up Catholic and went to mass 6 days a week. In those days they were taught if you weren’t Catholic you would go to hell. Her father wasn’t Catholic and she was sure he was going to rot in hell.
And don’t get me started about a hyprocrite we both know — JAYNE — good Catholic — HAH!
Yep, hubby says he put in his time (12 years of Catholic school) so won’t be going back anytime soon. Poor Barb!
Not offended at all…thank you so much! I’m very new to Buddhism and have lots of questions.