Chuck Lorre Vanity Cards

“I believe that beer is a gateway drug that leads, inevitably, to vodka and somebody oughta do something about it.” – Chuck Lorre

Hubby and I are fans of The Big Bang Theory and Two And A Half Men on CBS, Monday nights.  Each night, after each episode, we are treated to what I was calling blog posts by the creator, Chuck Lorre.  Each week we have to read frantically while sometimes pausing the DVR multiple times and then having to rewind because the DVR status bar on the bottom of the screen covers up the last few sentences.  Each week I tell myself to look up his blog online but I have always forgotten.  I finally remembered today and it turns out he has been writing these for all his shows, past and present, and that they are “Vanity Cards”, not blog posts.  You can find them all HERE. 

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I look forward to these Vanity Cards after each episode.  I love them almost as much as the shows themselves.  Here’s the one that ran after Two And A Half Men last night….
 

CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #248

I believe that Newton’s first law of motion is the reason we will emerge from our current economic woes. That law states that an object at rest tends to stay at rest and an object in motion tends to stay in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force. How does that relate to the financial #$%*storm we’re now cowering under? Allow me to explain. There are slightly less than seven billion people on this planet. Assuming that roughly half that number are either too young, too old, too lazy, or too loaded to work, that still leaves almost three and a half billion people getting up in the morning to chase the almighty dollar, the transcendent rupee, the zen yen,the dear ol’ euro, the what’s goin’ on yuan, the… well, you get the idea. Now, call me crazy (and many have called me far worse), but I happen to think that three and a half billion motivated people is one big damn object in motion. And the only thing acting against that object is the friction caused by a small bunch of greedy, dumbass, screw-the-pooch, Ivy League pot stickers (the unbalanced force). I therefore assert that the unbalanced force (you know who you are, shame on you), will eventually be overwhelmed by the object in motion (three and a half billion people with pluck, aka pluckers), thus allowing the object in motion to continue its relentless journey forward, thriving and conniving until it is once again slowed down by other unbalanced forces, or a very large meteorite. Or a plague. Or fundamentalists with nukes. Or atmosphere-eating nanobots. Or a super volcano. Or Skynet. Or Cylons. 

Thanks for stopping by!