Going In For A Tune Up
“Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
When hubby and I ended marriage counseling almost four months ago, we did so because we were spending a fortune on it and because we had made significant progress in major areas. We agreed that we could return anytime for a session or more if either of us felt the need. That time has come.
We had a conversation last week that was never resolved. It’s been bugging me ever since. I suspect it’s been bugging him too but he denies this. Either way, he has agreed to return to our marriage counselor for at least one session. The appointment is in a couple of weeks.
I have several concerns about that conversation. One of them is that it was initiated by him on a day where I was already not in a good place, after receiving some devistating news about a good friend.
I did request that we continue the conversation another time since I was already upset about my friend. He kept pushing the issue, so I caved in and engaged in the conversation. Unfortunately, he apparently didn’t like and/or agree with what I said so he clammed up and then did not want to talk about it anymore. The rest of the week felt strained between us.
The content of the conversation went back to the heart of the main reason we got separated last year. I had thought that we had worked through all of that and come to an agreement on the dynamics of the situation and what role each of us played. Apparently not.
It’s somewhat disappointing but not tragic. We have made significant progress and things are still much better between us than they were. I don’t want this very big issue to turn into one of those things we sweep under the rug and build up resentment over for the next ten years. Hopefully just one visit will clear it up once and for all.
Thanks for stopping by!
Good for you! Older members of my family look at counseling as “taboo” and means something is wrong with you. I happen to think counseling is just like any other doctor visit – go in for a check-up when something needs fixing up! I’m glad you’re the same way – constant check-ups for your feelings and emotions help the brain in the long run, and in your case- relationship!
I’m sad that you have to go but happier that you see the need too and that you both agree to go before it turns into something bigger. My heart is with you GF.
Good luck. They always say it’s better to nip things in the bud, and it sounds like your counselor is a good one.
I’m the first to admit when I’m lost … I think it’s ultra cool to talk about stuff with others who are there to keep things from spiraling down. I have a really good feeling when I hear people admit they see a need to work in areas of their marriage. It’s healthy and wise.
I second all the other comments as well… good for you for having to strength to face issues head on. Counseling can be frightening.. it’s often much easier to just ignore things and hope they go away on their own. Best of luck to you two!!