Personal Bill Of Rights

“No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow.” — Alice Walker

Once again, no, I haven’t joined a twelve step group.  My friend over at Transitions And New Beginnings posted this list a few days ago.  Loving anything psychologically empowering, no matter how clichéd, I of course tracked down the source and had to post it here.

Those of us who have been people-pleasing doormats most of our lives aren’t aware that we have these rights.  We gave up our power long ago, or never knew we even had any power to give up.  Those of you who can’t relate to this at all….good for you! 

If I had read this two years ago, I wouldn’t have believed that I had the power to insist on the majority of these items being met.   There are many others out there feeling that way right now, and it….well, it sucks. That’s a technical term by the way. 

PERSONAL BILL OF RIGHTS

1. I have the right to ask for what I want.
2. I have the right to say no to requests or demands I can’t meet.
3. I have the right to change my mind.
4. I have the right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect.
5. I have the right to follow my own values and standards.
6. I have the right to express all of my feelings, both positive or
negative, in a manner that will not harm others.
7. I have the right to say no to anything when I feel I am not ready, it
is unsafe, or it violates my values.
8. I have the right to determine my own priorities.
9. I have the right not to be responsible for others’ behavior, actions,
feelings or problems.
10.I have the right to expect honesty from others.
11.I have the right to feel angry at someone I love and to express this
in a responsible manner.
12.I have the right to be uniquely myself.
13.I have the right to feel scared and say “I’m afraid.”
14.I have the right to say “I don’t know.”
15.I have the right to make decisions based on my feelings, beliefs
and values.
16.I have the right to my own reality.
17.I have the right to my own needs for personal space and time.
18.I have the right to be playful and frivolous.
19.I have the right to be healthy.
20.I have the right to be in a non-abusive environment.
21.I have the right to make friends and be comfortable around
people.
22.I have the right to change and grow.
23.I have the right to have my needs and wants respected by others.
24.I have the right to be treated with dignity and respect.
25.I have the right to grieve.
26.I have the right to a fulfilling sex life.
27.I have the right to be happy.

(Adapted by Mary Ellen Copeland from the Anxiety and Phobia Workbook, Edmund J. Bourne, Ph.D., 1990, New Harbinger Publications, Oakland, CA.)

Thanks for stopping by!

Related Reading:

Her Blue Body Everything We Know: Earthling Poems 1965-1990 Complete

Doormat

My Life as a Doormat (in Three Acts)

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