Leave Sharp Objects At The Door
“The only place I get hurt is out there. The world don’t give a shit about me.” – The Wrestler
SPOILER ALERT: IF YOU HAVEN’T YET SEEN THE READER OR THE WRESTLER AND ARE PLANNING ON IT, DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER!
A friend of mine said that she wishes just once that an Academy Award nominated movie didn’t make her want to slit her wrists after watching. I saw both of these movies in the past week and couldn’t agree more! Ok, technically, The Wrestler isn’t up for Best Picture but does have two nominations for acting.
While these two movies would seem, on the surface, to have virtually nothing in common (one is about a boy’s coming of age in Nazi Germany and the other is about a washed-up wrestler in the present day), they do have quite a bit in common, as far as exploring the human psyche. Both left me sobbing by the end. You knew this was going to be psycho-babble, come on! 
In both movies, the main character has shut down emotionally, completely closed off. They both have been so deeply emotionally scarred by earlier events and/or relationships, that they distract themselves with other things that make them feel better. One, with success and superficial relationships with the opposite sex. The other, with fame and drugs.
In the end, both finally realize that they do actually need meaningful connections in their lives and reach out to someone. In The Reader, he successfully opens up to his daughter and presumably lives happily ever after.
The Reader
In The Wrestler, he tries with a woman he has feelings for but is shot down. The interesting thing about the reasons she shoots him down is that they are due to her own emotional baggage, not because of him. He, of course, believes that it is him. He then tries with his daughter, but due to his aforementioned distractions, lets her down for the final time and she disowns him. In the end, the woman who rejected him comes to her senses, and admits that she does have feelings for him. Unfortunately, it’s too late. He’s already given up. After a lifetime of screwing up every relationship he’s ever had, he finally completely succumbs to his belief that his distractions are the only real things he has going for him.
Because there was no redemption at the end, The Wrestler is the one that depressed me the most. The Reader is a much more complex, thought-provoking movie, but this isn’t a movie review.
The Wrestler
My point? Yep, I do have one. It is profoundly sad to me that we all need, yes NEED, meaningful connections with other people, romantic and otherwise, but we all put up walls. We get hurt and so we shut down. We have all done this at some point. The worst part is that we don’t even realize how OUR emotional shutting down affects others who attempt to make a connection with us. They have their own issues and so assume that they are rejected because of their own imperfections. It’s a vicious cycle that many folks never find their way out of.
If we could all just find a way to admit to ourselves that we do need other people and open up enough to risk getting hurt again, we would probably actually be hurt a lot less often than we are with all of our walls.
Thanks for stopping by!
Good post!
Thanks for the warning … I probably wouldn’t have seen either of these movies — PG is as far as I go. But I’m glad you went and made mention of those places we “shut down” and get consumed with distractions that don’t serve us in this life. I LOVE YOU for seeing this … the need for meaningful relationships. Very BIG. Big, big, big.
Thanks for being a meaningful part of mine.
Also, I love your “shooting from the hip” — what comes from there is so real. I’m just getting used to the ‘bitch’ title and I think you know it.
You know me far more than I’ve even let onto. I think this makes you one of my tribe members in life.
I may give you an Indian name before the day is over.
You are of the earth and reach for the sun, you are STRONG FLOWER
And thank YOU for being part of mine (you bitch)!
Thank you!
Cool, I’ve always wanted an Indian name, and thank you so much.
I like that!!!! Thank you.