Get The Funk Out
“My schedule for today lists a six-hour self-accusatory depression.” — Philip K. Dick
So, I’m in a funk. I can’t seem to care enough to get motivated to do anything. I could be studying, working out, doing our taxes, cleaning, laundry, on and on and on. I’m not bored. I feel….bleh.
Being unemployed for this long with no end in sight, no real hopes for something that I’ll be excited about, or that is remotely stable, is completely unfamiliar to me and….life-sucking.
Yes, I’m going to school to change careers to eventually do something that I’ll love, but that’s a long way off. The class I’m taking now is extremely time consuming and not at all exciting, but is required.
I haven’t seen any of my girlfriends in weeks.
I beat myself up constantly about not having a job. I know this is counter productive and I’m trying to stop it. It’s hard to reverse 38 years of negative self-talk. That’s a work in progress.
I took some time out from my usual all-day job search (looking for a job is a full-time job) to relax. I watched an awesomely bad movie on DVD. I thought maybe if I just relaxed, did something mindless and enjoyable, I might feel better. Nope. Instead, I felt guilty because I slacked off for two hours!
Tomorrow, I’m trying a different tactic. I’m actually meeting a girlfriend for a movie. I’m hoping getting out of the house and hanging out with her, eating popcorn drowned in salt and butter, and watching Ralph Fiennes on the big screen may cheer me up a little.
If that doesn’t work, I’ll have to come up with a new plan over the weekend. I’m fairly certain it will involve beer.
Thanks for stopping by!
There is nothing like an unproductive day to make you feel worse about everything! Been there blogged that! Here’s to a better tomorrow or a really big keg!
I’m the same way! I was just jobless for 6 months and beat myself up the same way, and I always feel guilty if I sit down and watch a movie or do something for myself.
oh, i hope you have a better weekend! it is really tough on the self-esteem to be out of work when you don’t want to be. maybe it was just one of those “pity me” days, when you should just give into it, get it out of the way and make plans for the next.
a girlfriend date sounds like a great idea — it usually gives my mood a boost, even if i come home to crap later
Ah…this psychic thing is starting to get scary. (Yesterday with my whole unravel status…)I’m sorry that your in a funk. There really doesn’t seem to be a cure, just one day you wake up and something positive happens and you feel better. At least your being proactive and productive even if your heart isn’t in it. You have to get props for that. You have a lot of stress weighing you down. Maybe going out with your friend is just what you need. Take a few hours off grab a margarita and forget about it all. (I’m having girls night on Friday) What I really hate is when people just tell you to snap out of it…duh…if that worked we’d all be sliding down rainbows while riding on unicorns. Wait it out, smile, even if you fake it…It will all get better…eventually! sending cyber hugs! xo
funks suck. we are in agreement about that. when i was unemployed, being home alone nearly drove me insane. i am way too people-oriented for that. so even when i was working (i was doing some writing), i would leave the house and go to a coffee shop. i made lunch dates with friends almost everyday. and i forced my husband to play with me when he got home from work. all that helped. but funks are funks and sometimes we just have to wait them out. hang in there!
Your post reminded me of an Indian I met six years ago and these golden words he said to me. I see a parallel here. My situation at that time was causing me stress … for a whole year.
I began awaking at early hours of the morning, 4 am every day, in 2002. My then doctor husband saw my waking up as unnatural, something to be treated. I began thinking there was something wrong. Then, I believed it. I was put on antidepressants by the good doctor and still awoke at the same hour no matter what.
I want to be sure and let you know that — like you, I could not change anything by sheer will. (not all men feel they are God and need to ‘fix’ everything
)
So here I was trying to change my sleep pattern … I bought it hook, line and sinker: there was something wrong. The stress of it all made matters worse. If I went to sleep at midnight I would awake at the same hour. Nothing seemed to work and I was a mess. (mind, body, spirit)
And I had heard of this Indian through a friend who followed Maharishi — he was known to an entire community as a healer and here’s what he said, “Why make a problem out of it.”
I still laugh about this … and I still wake the birds up.
Just remember—you are not alone in your funk!! There are a lot of funked up folks right now.
Ralph Fiennes. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE him. My all-time favorite movie of his is “The End of the Affair.” If you haven’t seen it, DO.
I’ve been unemployed regularly many times, and I used to feel like a stray dog nobody wanted. It can be debilitating. Since I went full-time freelance, though, even when there’s no work coming in (like today), I never feel “unemployed.”
What I just did to fill in the gaps was buy a copy of “Writer’s Market” (the deluxe edition that gives you a free one-year subscription to the online version with daily updates and more markets). On Amazon, you can get it cheap so the book only ends up costing about $3 with the online subscription as well.
During down time, I search it looking for markets for essays or anything else I feel inclined to write.
No, it’s not a “job,” but it’s a step toward paying work you might even get, and you don’t have to leave the house.
My second favorite thing is a girlfriend date. Go head, get out and have a little fun and don’t feel guilty about it. It really helps to put things in perspective.
Awww Cyndi!!!
Don’t be in a funk!
I wanna remind you how cool and wonderful you are. Totally worth your weight in beans. LOL
I know I have said this before but If it makes you feel better I will say it again. I miss working with you and laughing about stupid stuff.
Its not our fault that we were SUCKED into a trade that was evil and life blood draining.
Things will get better I am sure of it.
I am still praying for you guys!
Smile and have a good weekend!
Rai
Fake till you make it, right?
Thank you!
Yes, girl-dates are the best.
Why do we do this to ourselves??!!! Grrrrrrrrrr……….
Thank you!
GREAT story and so true. We (I) do create problems when there are none there…or at least when whatever we are trying to control is completely uncontrollable…sounds like I need to say the Serenity Prayer today. Thanks!
I normally LOVE alone time, the more the better. It is starting to get to me though. It’s my own fault for hibernating lately. Thank you!
Thanks! LOL – Funked Up.
I love him too! The Reader…..DEPRESSING. Not the best choice for my funkified self. It was excellent though. I did enjoy hanging out with my friend though. I’ve already ordered Writer’s Market and the first book you suggested. Thank you so much!
Awwww….thanks Rai & I miss you too!